


Blank Verse

by inmyfashion



Category: Pitch (TV 2016)
Genre: AU, Epistolary, F/M, Ginny Baker is a ray of sunshine, Grad Student/Professor AU, MIKE LAWSON HUMAN DISASTER, Slow Burn, professor/student AU, story told through email
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-12-27
Packaged: 2018-11-15 20:25:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 36,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11238534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inmyfashion/pseuds/inmyfashion
Summary: Ginny is awarded an assistantship with Dr. Mike Lawson during her second year as a Ph.D. student in Comparative Literature at UCLA. She's been a fan of his for a long time, but Mike finds a way to make her question that.A story told through emails and texts. This in an epistolary fic.





	1. Caricature

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome. I hope you enjoy this. You can find me on [Tumblr.](https://darling-in-my-fashion.tumblr.com/)

June 1, 2017

 

From: rhonda.busey@humnet.ucla.edu  
To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: TA Assignment for ‘17-’18 academic year

Dear Ms. Baker,

Congratulations! Because of your academic excellence during the ‘16-’17 academic year, the Comparative Literature Department is pleased to offer you an assistantship for the upcoming academic year with Professor Michael Lawson. 

Dr. Lawson is returning from a year-long sabbatical, and given your knowledge of his work and your studies thus far, the department feels this would be an excellent fit for you.

Your assistantship contract is attached to this email. Please review it and return it signed to us no later than June 15, 2017.

Please keep in mind that these are the basic requirements set forth by the university. You may still have specific requirements to fulfill per your advising teacher. We recommend you reach out as soon as possible and discuss what those might be. 

Dr. Lawson’s email is michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu. 

We look forward to seeing you again this upcoming academic year.

Regards,

Rhonda Busey

Academic Apprenticeship Coordinator  
College of Humanities, UCLA 

Attach: TAcontract1718_Lawson.pdf

 

 

June 1, 2017

 

From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu    
To: rhonda.busey@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: TA Assignment for ‘17-’18 academic year 

Rhonda,

The signed contract is attached. Thank you!

Best,

Ginny Baker

Attach: TAcontract1718_LawsonBakersigned.pdf

 

 

June 1, 2017

 

From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Introductions and questions 

Dear Dr. Lawson,

I've received my TA assignment from the department and was instructed to email you for specific guidelines as to what you require of your TA.

I have to say I'm very excited to be your teaching assistant, Dr. Lawson. I focused a major portion of my Master's thesis on your postcolonial theories. They're so much easier to grasp and expand on then Bhabha’s. I’ve read each one of your books at least twice. 

I've read through the TA contract and would like to know if there are additional responsibilities you'd like for me to take on.

I'm very excited for this upcoming year. Thank you so much for this incredible opportunity.

Best,

Ginny Baker

 

June 1, 2017

 

From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
To: evelyn.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Professor Lawson 

I just got assigned an assistantship with Mike Lawson!

THE Mike Lawson!

Tell me everything I should know about him, Ev.

-G

 

June 1, 2017

 

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: evelyn.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Professor Lawson 

G, how much time do you have?

While I'm thrilled for you, and I am, I'm a little bummed you didn't get assigned to Blip as his TA. Would've been a perfect excuse to see a lot more of you.

As for Mike... well, Mike Lawson is interesting. I don't really have a bad word to say about him except that he's particular and annoying and very grumpy and he's seriously gone full mountain man during his sabbatical and apparently is now married to this monstrosity of a beard taking up residence on his face.

He's a wonderful professor but not easy. His last TA quit mid-semester but in Mike’s defense he'd just found out some devastating news so he wasn't in the best place. I think this past year may have been good for him, but I'm not sure. He's only occasionally checked in with Blip and me.

Anything else you're wondering about?

-E

 

June 1, 2017

 

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Automatic Response--Introductions and questions 

I am currently unavailable and will not be able to return your email prior to July 1, 2017. Email the department for immediate assistance.

M. Lawson

 

June 1, 2017

 

From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
To: evelyn.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Professor Lawson 

I have no other questions at this time, Dr. Sanders.

 

-G

 

June 1, 2017

 

From: evelyn.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Professor Lawson 

I just know how much you like M. Lawson. You practically quote him with every chance you get.

So if it's personal information you're really after I won't judge. I am as always a trusted confident holding on to many, many secrets.

It's my face.

 

-E

  

June 1, 2017

 

To: evelyn.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Professor Lawson 

I'm not at all interested in Mike Lawson in a personal way. I just appreciate all the work he's done for the study of comparative literature.

 

-G

 

 

June 1, 2017

 

From: evelyn.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Professor Lawson 

So noted. I will keep all my personal info about your favorite professor to myself.

My lips are sealed.

-E

 

 

June 7, 2017

 

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: cara.divolo@ucla.edu  
Subject: Syllabi 

G,

While I was in the library, I met Mike Lawson’s former TA. (I was flirting with him cause he's rather hunky, but I digress.) I think you're going to want to talk to him.

Also, want to get together and write syllabi over drinks?

Our lives are deeply, deeply glamorous.

x

Cara

  

June 7, 2017

 

From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
To: cara.divolo@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Syllabi 

I applaud your use of the non-Anglicized plural for a syllabus.

Sounds good. The Four Horsemen at 8?

I guess I could talk to him. Ev already told me he quit halfway through the semester. I don't imagine we’ll have the most encouraging of conversations.

 

-G

 

 

June 9, 2017

 

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: omar.robles@ucla.edu  
Subject: I'm sorry 

Hey Ginny,

I'm really sorry for the way I...I don't really have an excuse except to say that quitting as Lawson’s TA nearly ruined my time here and I hold a lot of resentment towards the guy. I'm really glad that this is my last year and he was on sabbatical the entire last. But regardless, I hate that I may have influenced you one way or another. I should've left that up to you and I hope your experience is much more positive than mine.

If you need anything though, don't hesitate to contact me.

Regards,

Omar

 

 

June 9, 2017

 

To: evsanders@gmail.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: question 

So I talked with Lawson’s last, extremely disgruntled TA who had no shortage of not-so-nice things to say about him. And some pretty terrible things to say about his relationship with his wife. Ex-wife?

Is this assistantship going to kill me?

 

-G

 

June 9, 2017

 

To: baker_g@gmail.com  
From: evsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: question

Ooh, we’ve moved to Gmail. Must be serious. 

G, the whole mess with Mike and his now ex-wife was capital ‘M’ Messy. A lot of it isn’t for me to tell and honestly I don’t know the whole story. What I do know is that separating his professional and personal life was excessively difficult since she was a professor in the Journalism Department.

Professional ethics. The irony abounds.

I don’t know where they stand now, but it didn’t help that the person she started to date after their separation works for the med school.

Like I said--Messy.

So the year before last was really rough for Mike. And because he’s a bit of an emotional moron, he might have publicly and loudly humiliated his then TA during one undergrad lecture Omar was teaching. That’s the point where his TA quit and he was gently urged towards sabbatical by the Dean’s office and Oscar.

M-E-S-S-Y.

Anyway, he seems better. Well, still grumpy, but that might just be Mike’s MO. I’ve never known him to be anything but, though he does have a marshmallow center.

So...yeah. Does that help or are you more terrified?

 

-E

 

 

 

June 9, 2017

 

To: evsanders@gmail.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: question 

Oh god.

 

-G

 

 

June 15, 2017

 

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: uclacomplit@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: You’re invited!

 Dear Ginny:

Congratulations on being awarded an assistantship! Your academic credentials have earned you this prestigious honor and we’re so excited to have you as a part of our community.

You’re cordially invited to our annual university-wide teacher’s assistant luncheon held on July 15 at the Chancellor’s Residence.

If you’re able to attend, and we truly hope you are, please RSVP to this email and let us know if you have any food restrictions or allergies and if you’ll be bringing an additional guest.

Congratulations again!

Regards,

Dana  
Executive Assistant to Oscar Arguella, Department Chair for Comparative Literature

 

June 17, 2017

 

To: evsanders@gmail.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: TA Luncheon 

Do I have to go?

 

-G

 

 

June 17, 2017

 

To: baker_g@gmail.com  
From: evsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: TA Luncheon

 

I'm going to assume that was rhetorical. 

We’re going shopping for this by the way.

(No, you can't wriggle out of either. It's a dinner at the Chancellor’s house, G.)

:)

 

-E

 

 

June 17, 2017

 

To: uclacomplit@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: You’re invited! 

Dana,

Thank you for the invitation. Please accept this as my RSVP. I do not have any food allergies and will not be bringing a guest.

Regards,

Ginny Baker

 

 

June 19, 2017

 

To: baker_g@gmail.com  
From: janetbaker@yahoo.com  
Subject: I miss hearing your voice

 

Hey baby girl,

 You missed our previous two calls. Just wanted to make sure everything is still okay. I hate that you're so far away.

 Have you heard from your brother lately? It seems both of my children are determined to keep me out of the loop.

 How's California? How's your apartment and Cara?

 I miss you very much. Email me or call me when you get the chance.

 

Love you,

Mom

 

 

June 23, 2017

 

To: blip.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: they assigned me another TA 

Either Oscar is really gunning for my resignation or chomping at the bit for me to do something else egregious in order to fire me. Another TA? Seriously. And this one sounds bubbly and happy if her email is any indication. She's “a fan.” What the hell am I supposed to do with perky?

Hey, by the way. How's your summer been?

 

-ML

 

 

June 23, 2017

 

To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: blip.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: they assigned me another TA 

Hello Mike,

Common courtesy greetings are apparently beneath you, but for the rest of us, they still matter. I'm great. The kids are doing well, and Evie is doing much better. I’ll tell her you asked about her.

As for your new TA, Ginny Baker, she's better than you deserve. She's smart, driven, no-nonsense and quickly becoming my wife's best friend. (It's a long story best summed up in one word: Evelyn.)

Anyways, please be good to her. Because if you screw this up, you'll undoubtedly make my life a living hell via my wife and man if you do that there will be serious consequences.

How are things with you? How's, well... everything?

-Blip

 

 

 

June 24, 2017

 

To: blip.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: they assigned me another TA

How is Evelyn? That was stupid of me not to ask. I'm glad they caught it early. Is she done with her radiation treatments? 

I would ask how your wife became friendly with a student, but Evelyn gets what she wants, so really there's no point.

I will do my best to be kind to this TA. I just hope I'm not stuck with a sycophant. Or a pushover.

Or an idiot like Robles. Seriously, the guy was a total moron.

And things are... fucked. Rachel is getting married. To the doctor, she cheated on me with. He got a cushy position at Stanford and they've moved so at least the chances of running into them out and about being the happy adulterers they are has significantly decreased.

She took the dog. She didn't even like Hans.

 

-ML

 

 

June 24, 2017

 

To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: blip.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: they assigned me another TA 

Ev says come over for dinner.

Not up for negotiation.

 

 

June 24, 2017

 

To: blip.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: they assigned me another TA

 

Okay. 

 

 

_-1-_

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Frame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mike and the Sanders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is still an epistolary fic. That means it's written in emails. Sometimes it may be texts, but it'll primarily be emails. I understand some people may not like this--don't read it if it's not your thing. It's okay.

June 25, 2017  
  
  
To: blip.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Do you think Evelyn will give that pie recipe to my housekeeper?  
  
ML

 

 

 

June 25, 2017

  
To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: blip.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: !!!!!  
  
You know I HATE when you do that in a subject line. I hate it, Mike.  
  
Also, probably not. That recipe is from her momma who gave it to her on pain of death should she share it with anyone not in the family.  
  
I'm barely even allowed in the kitchen when she's making it.  
  
-Blip  
  


 

  
June 25, 2017  
  
  
To: blip.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: !!!!!  
  
Damn. What if I ask nicely? I can be quite charming.  
  
ML

 

  
  
  
June 25, 2017  
  
  
To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: blip.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: !!!!!  
  
  
Hahahahahahaha!  
  
Whew! Thank you for that laugh, man. I needed that.  
  


 

  
June 25, 2017  
  
  
To: blip.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: !!!!!  
  
I don't know why we’re friends. Truly.  
  
Also, thank you. I'm bad at saying it, and I'll probably really botch saying it enough, but I honestly wouldn't have made it through this without you and Ev.  
  
So, thanks. 

 

  
  
  
June 25, 2017  
  
  
To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: blip.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: !!!!!  
  
You're always welcome at our table, Mike.  
  
And you're expected at Evie’s Fourth of July party. It's on the 2nd.  


 

  
  
June 30, 2017  
To: undisclosed-recipients;  
From: uclahumanitiesTA@gmail.com  
Subject: It’s cocktail time!  
  
My fellow TAs:  
  
It's a time honored tradition for us to gather before we all dive headlong into the hell of teaching undergrads. *shudder*  
  
Come out to Sycamore & Vine tomorrow, July 1 so we can get ready to kick off another academic year in style.  
  
Let's go Bruins!  
  
Elliot  
  


 

  
July 2, 2017  
  
To: evsanders@gmail.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: Can I bring a guest to the party?  
  
Ev,  
  
Before you get excited, don’t. He’s just a new friend I made and he doesn’t really know anyone here very well. He’s a Linguistics department TA.  


 

  
  
July 2, 2017  
  
To: baker_g@gmail.com  
From: evsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Can I bring a guest to the party?  
  
!!!!!!!!!  
  
YES. YES YOU CAN.  
  
-E

 

  
  
  
July 2, 2017  
  
To: evsanders@gmail.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Can I bring a guest to the party?  
  
Seriously. It’s not a big thing.  
  


  
  
July 2, 2017  
  
To: baker_g@gmail.com  
From: evsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Can I bring a guest to the party?  
  
This is a big thing. I haven’t even heard you mention a boy--even in passing--since you-know-who.  
  
I’m thrilled. Tell me all about him.  


 

  
  
July 2, 2017  
  
To: evsanders@gmail.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Can I bring a guest to the party?  
  
You’re literally going to meet him in two hours. You’ll see for yourself.  
  
x  


 

  
  
July 3, 2017  
  
To: baker_g@gmail.com  
From: showtimewillbaker@gmail.com  
Subject: Please call/email mom  
  
G,  
  
Mom won't stop bugging me to see if I've talked to you which I can honestly say that I haven't.  
  
Just email her back.  
  
Email me back, too.  
  
Will

 

  
  
  
July 3, 2017  
  
To: blsanders@gmail.com  
From: mikelawson@gmail.com  
Subject: My TA hates me I think  
  
How mad is Ev at me on a scale of 1-10?  
  
ML

 

  
  
  
July 3, 2017  
  
To: mikelawson@gmail.com  
From: blsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: My TA hates me I think  
  
Well, she's not thrilled with you—-so probably a 6—-but neither of us is surprised you put your foot in your mouth.  
  
Did you even read Ginny’s thesis? It’s really good.  


 

  
  
July 3, 2017  
  
To: blsanders@gmail.com  
From: mikelawson@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: My TA hates me I think  
  
It IS really good. 

 

  
  
  
July 3, 2017  
  
To: mikelawson@gmail.com  
From: blsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: My TA hates me I think  
  
Then why did you call it adequate and unworthy of publication?  


 

  
  
July 3, 2017  
  
To: blsanders@gmail.com  
From: mikelawson@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: My TA hates me I think  
  
Because I hadn’t read it at the time.  
  
Yes, I know that’s not a viable excuse. I wasn’t prepared for her. I thought I had more time before having to deal with her. I kind of felt ambushed, so I just went with my first reaction.  


 

  
  
July 3, 2017  
  
To: mikelawson@gmail.com  
From: blsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: My TA hates me I think  
  
To be a jerk?

 

  
  
  
July 3, 2017  
  
To: blsanders@gmail.com  
From: mikelawson@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: My TA hates me I think  
  
I’m not proud. I honestly can’t say why I even started and then didn’t stop except I did.  
  
Yes, I’m going to apologize. Somehow. And not just to save my own ass, but because her work is actually quite commendable. Leaps and bounds past where I was at her age.  


 

  
  
July 3, 2017  
  
To: mikelawson@gmail.com  
From: blsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: My TA hates me I think  
  
Before you became a curmudgeonly old bastard?

  
  
  
  
July 3, 2017  
  
To: blsanders@gmail.com  
From: mikelawson@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: My TA hates me I think  
  
Go away. 

 

  
  
  
July 4, 2017  
  
To: janetbaker@yahoo.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: I miss hearing your voice  
  
Hi mom,  
  
I'm fine. I'm sorry about missing our calls. How are you?  
  
California is fine. I got assigned as a TA in school, so things are looking up for the year.  
  
How's Kevin?  
  
I promise I'll make our next call, mom. You don't have to worry about me.  
  
Love you,  
Ginny

 

 

  
July 6, 2017  
  
To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
DRAFT Re: Introductions and questions  
  
Ms. Baker,  
  
Let me start off by apologizing for what I said at The Sanders’ party. It was out of line.  
  
I didn't expect you at all, not that I'd asked many questions, but your thesis work and the work you did in your first year here have been outstanding.  
  
You're smart and determined and you're so much further than I was at your age.  
  
I think great things are in store for you.  


 

  
  
July 6, 2017  
  
To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Introductions and questions  
  
Ms Baker,  
  
I've attached a document of additional requirements for the year. This first semester, you'll be taking on my Thursday Intro to Lit Crit class.  
  
Please have your proposed syllabus to me within the week.  
  
-M  
  
Attach: Additonal_TA_req_Lawson.pdf

 

  
  
July 7, 2017  
  
To: mikelawson@gmail.com  
From: evsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: I’m going to hurt you  
  
If you can’t figure out why, I’m going to hurt you double. You’re a good man, Mike. So good. One of the best.  
  
I’m not sure what came over you or why you’ve STILL not apologized, but do it soon. And sincerely. Maybe in person.  
  
No, not in person. You might yell at her and say something else incredibly stupid.  
  
Also, can you really not answer your own email? You really expect your TA to do that?  
  
(Have I been under utilizing my own TAs all these years?)  
  
-E

 

  
  
July 7, 2017  
  
To: evsanders@gmail.com  
From: mikelawson@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: I’m going to hurt you  
  
I only have my TAs answer emails during the school year to field requests I don’t want to deal with. You should definitely do it, too.  
  
Would you like to proofread my apology?  
  
-M

 

  
  
  
July 7, 2017  
  
To: mikelawson@gmail.com  
From: evsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: I’m going to hurt you  
  
You really think sassing me is the way to go right now?  


 

 

  
July 7, 2017  
  
To: evsanders@gmail.com  
From: mikelawson@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: I’m going to hurt you  
  
  
No.  
  
Sorry.  
  
See, I am totally capable.  
  
I’ll apologize at the Chancellor’s luncheon. I promise.  
  
  
M

 

  
  
July 7, 2017  
  
To: mikelawson@gmail.com  
From: evsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: I’m going to hurt you  
  
Promise me you'll do your best to avoid making another scene. It won’t just be us there to watch you fall into the proverbial well.  
  


 

  
July 7, 2017  
  
To: evsanders@gmail.com  
From: mikelawson@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: I’m going to hurt you  
  
I promise. I will be amiable and cordial.  
  
I can be quite charming.  
  
-M


	3. Foil

July 16, 2017  
  
To: evsanders@gmail.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: What on earth…  
  
You definitely had something to do with that over-the-top Mike Lawson who showed up yesterday, right?  
  
Please say yes.  
  
-G

 

  
  
July 16, 2017  
  
To: baker_g@gmail.com  
From: evsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: What on earth…  
  
Oh god. What happened? I lost track of you for 10 minutes, Gin. What’d he do?  


  
  
  
July 16, 2017  
  
To: mikelawson@gmail.com  
From: evsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: What did you do?  
  
Mike,  
  
Remember how I said don't make a scene at the Chancellor's luncheon??  
  
?????  
  
-E

 

  
  
July 16, 2017  
  
To: evsanders@gmail.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: What on earth…  
  
It was... weird.  
  
Not bad weird, but ~weird~ weird.  
  
He was effusive. Didn't you say grumpy was Mike’s MO? And given how thoroughly he lambasted me before, this feels a little out of left field.  
  
He sang my praises to the Chancellor, Dean, and Oscar.  
  
Part of me thinks it was to save his own ass, but he was very genuine.  
  
He quoted from my thesis.  
  
Mike Lawson. Quoted. My. Thesis.  
  
That's weird right? Totally weird.  
  
-G

 

 

  
July 16, 2017  
  
To: mikelawson@gmail.com  
From: evsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: What did you do?  
  
Ignore my previous email.  
  
For now.

 

  
  
  
July 16, 2017  
  
To: baker_g@gmail.com  
From: evsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: What on earth…  
  
You're having a fangirl moment.  
  
This is precious. I bet you remember every word he said.  
-E

 

 

  
July 16, 2017  
  
To: evsanders@gmail.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: What on earth…  
  
No I don’t. Shut up.  
  
Thanks for whatever you said to him though. Don’t even try to deny it.  
  
-G  
  


  
  
July 20, 2017  
  
To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: livan.duarte@ucla.edu  
Subject: Thesis  
  
  
Your thesis really is stellar. I went and looked it up after Lawson wouldn't stop going on and on about it.  
  
Your Spanish could use a little help. I humbly offer my assistance. ;)  
  
Best,  
Livan  
  
p.s. Please reconsider coming out for happy hour tomorrow night. I won’t have anyone to talk to with Cara and Omar making googly eyes at one another.  
  
  
  
  
July 20, 2017  
  
To: livan.duarte@ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Thesis  
  
Thank you.  
  
And, I do not need help with my Spanish. Thank you, kindly. I'm doing just fine. Though, how's your Italian?  
  
And I’ll think about happy hour.  
  
G

 

  
  
  
July 22, 2017  
  
Ginny, 11 am: You awake yet?  
  
Evelyn, 11:01 am: Girl, I’ve got two kids, of course. What’s up?  
  
Ginny, 11:02 am: I saw Trevor last night  
  
Evelyn, 11:02 am: OMG!!! What’d he say? What’d you say? Are you okay?  
  
Ginny, 11:05 am: I bolted. He tried to talk to me and luckily Livan could see I was pretty uncomfortable. I didn’t think he’d still be out here. He’s supposed to be upstate. He nearly ruined my academic life and reputation and he’s just out and about being charming as if nothing ever happened as if he isn’t the incarnation of Lucifer in a man.  
  
Evelyn, 11:06 am: Come over. I’ll make Bloody Marys.  


 

  
  
  
July 23, 2017  
  
Mike, 2:30 pm: So, to clarify, Ev’s not mad right?  
  
Blip, 2:30 pm: No, she's not mad.  
  
Mike, 2:31 pm: Why'd she send me that email then?  
  
Blip, 2:33 pm: Preemptive strike. Ginny emailed about the Chancellor's thing and said you acted weird  
  
Mike, 2:34 pm: Weird? Weird how?  
Mike, 2:35 pm: Weird how, Blip?  
Mike, 2:36 pm: I wasn't weird! I was nice! I was charming. I even read her thesis again which is somehow even better than the first time I read it  
Mike, 2:37 pm: I was charming! I can be very charming  
  
Blip, 2:38 pm: Right. Dinner’s at 7. Ginny won't be here so no need to bring your charm with you.  
  
Mike, 2:38 pm: fuck you  


 

  
  
July 25, 2017  
  
To: bakerginny@gmail.com  
From:UCDavisTrevor@gmail.com  
Subject: Hey  
  
Ginny,  
  
You cut out so fast the other night.  
  
How are you?  
  
I've missed you.  
  
This feels so awkward. Email me back or text me. My number hasn't changed.  
  
Trevor  


 

  
July 25, 2017

  
To: UCDavisTrevor@gmail.com  
From: “Mail Delivery System” mailer-daemon@gmail.com  
Subject: Failure Notice  
  
These recipients of your message have been processed by the mail server:  
bakerginny@gmail.com; Failed; 5.1.1 (bad destination mailbox address)  
  


 

 

August 1, 2017  
  
To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Lit Crit syllabus  
  
Ms Baker,  
  
You did a great job on the syllabus. Thank you. I made a few minor adjustments and I've attached the updated document. If you’d please handle the administrative side and make the necessary copies as well as put it on the intranet for students.  
  
Thank you.  
  
And thank you for the work you've done so far. You've not slacked off just because it's summer. I appreciate that.  
  
And I'd like to apologize for my initial impression. I was unfair. Thanks for sticking around.  
  
-M  
  


Attach: LitCritSyllabus_Revision072017.pdf

 

  
August 1, 2017  
  
To: mikelawson@gmail.com  
From: evsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Pie  
  
You still can't have the recipe, but I made you a pie.  
  
You're a good man, Mike. In spite of the beard.

 

-E


	4. Cliché

August 1, 2017  
  
  
To: undisclosed-recipients  
From: uclacomplit@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Help us congratulate Dr. Blip Sanders on his prestigious grant  
  
The department would like to congratulate Professor Blip Sanders on being named one of 13 2017 New Direction fellowship from the prestigious James T. Arthur foundation. Dr. Sanders is an accomplished scholar and author on the literature of the African diaspora, specifically as it pertains to the Caribbean.  
  
Dr. Sanders plans to utilize the three-year grant to pursue Afro-Arab literature from the 9th and 10th centuries.  
  
We look forward to being a part of his discoveries and couldn’t be happier to have Dr. Sanders as a member of our community.  
  
Regards,  
  
Oscar Arguella, Ph.D.  
Department Chair, Comparative Literature, UCLA  
  
  
  
  
August 1, 2017  
  
To: blip.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Congratulations  
  
This is past due, and I’m very happy it’s yours and not that stuffed shirt whatshisface.  
  
Highly deserved.  
  
Don’t forget about us little folk when you make it to the top.  
  
-ML  
  
  
  
  
August 1, 2017  
  
To: blip.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Congratulations  
  
You’re an idiot.  
  
Thanks, man. All this means is I can breathe a little and not have to worry about my light course load this semester.  
  
Ev’s thrilled. Which means great things for me personally.  
  
  
  
  
August 1, 2017  
  
To: blip.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Congratulations  
  
Let’s keep this PG. We’re on company email.  
  
  
  
  
  
August 10, 2017  
  
To: undisclosed-recipients  
From: uclacomplit@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Comp Lit Annual Department BBQ  
  
Dear students:  
  
The 2017-2018 school year is quickly approaching, and so is our annual cookout!  
  
This year it will be held at Dr. Arguella’s home, Saturday, September 2 from 7-10pm.  
  
Please email me off list (dana.jeffries@humnet.ucla.edu) to RSVP. For those of you of age, the party is BYOB. You're not required or asked to bring anything else.  
  
Regards,  
Dana  
Executive Assistant to Oscar Arguella, Department Chair for Comparative Literature  
  
  
  
  
August 10, 2017  
  
To: dana.jeffries@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: RSVP for Comp Lit BBQ  
  
Dana,  
  
I'll be there.  
  
Thanks,  
Ginny Baker  
  
  
  
  
August 15, 2017  
  
Rachel, 10:37 pm: I think something is wrong with Hans.  
  
Mike, 10:41 pm: Isn’t your almost husband a doctor?  
  
Rachel, 10:42 pm: He’s a thoracic surgeon, not a vet.  
  
Mike, 10:43 pm: Then maybe you should take Hans to the vet, Rach. What do you want me to do?  
  
Rachel, 10:44 pm: I think Hans misses you. I miss you, too.  
  
  
  
  
August 17, 2017  
  
To: blsanders@gmail.com  
From: mikelawson@gmail.com  
Subject: I owe you one  
  
Whatever your price is, just name it. I know you've been eyeing that Glenlivet 21yo Scotch. I'm happy to deliver on that.  
  
How’d you even know I was at that bar?  
  
-M  
  
  
  
  
August 17, 2017  
  
To: mikelawson@gmail.com  
From: blsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: I owe you one  
  
Ginny saw you and texted.  
  
And don't worry she didn't say anything to anyone. She was there by herself and saw your drunk ass and figured you'd probably need a ride home since you're not exactly a technological savant and Lyft is outside of your drunk abilities.  
  
  
  
  
  
August 17, 2017  
  
To: blsanders@gmail.com  
From: mikelawson@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: I owe you one  
  
So there's no doubt my TA knows I'm an absolute disaster. Great.  
  
  
  
  
  
August 17, 2017  
  
To: mikelawson@gmail.com  
From: blsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: I owe you one  
  
Cheer up, buddy.  
  
I'm positive she already knew that about you.  
  
  
  
  
  
August 17, 2017  
  
To: blsanders@gmail.com  
From: mikelawson@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: I owe you one  
  
I hate you so much.  
  
  
  
  
  
August 20, 2017  
  
To: showtimewillbaker@gmail.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: Hey  
  
Hey Will,  
  
How’s the coffee shop coming along? Did you manage to rent that place on Poplar? It's a great location, very close to campus. You could have a lot of success there.  
  
How's everything else? Kevin still a good investor to have?  
  
Let me know if there's anything I can do.  
  
Love you,  
G  
  
  
  
  
  
August 21, 2017  
  
Blip, 5:45 pm: G, can you come watch the kids? Ev’s having an allergic reaction to some new meds from the doctor and we need to go to the ER.  
  
Ginny, 5:45 pm: on my way  
  
Blip, 5:45 pm: it's mild. I can feel you panicking from here. She's uncomfortable but okay. I promise. And thanks.  
  
Ginny, 5:46 pm: no thanks necessary. 10 minutes away  
  
  
  
  
  
Mike, 7:07 pm: Hey, Ev alright?  
  
Blip, 7:09 pm: Shit. I'm sorry man. I absolutely forgot to text you. We're still at the ER. You at the house?  
  
Mike, 7:09 pm: yeah. Ginny opened the door and I was confused and so was she. It was a bit like Comedy of Errors except uncomfortable. So maybe exactly like it. I don't know. Anyways, don't worry. Do you and E need anything? Want me to bring food from anywhere for you guys?  
  
Blip, 7:12 pm: I think we're good man. Thank you and sorry. We'll make it up to you.  
  
Mike, 7:13 pm: I am the least of your worries. I'm a grown man who imposes weekly on your hospitality when you could say no. I'm grateful. I'll survive. Besides Ginny ordered pizza for the boys. There may be one surviving piece in the box.  
  
Blip, 7:15 pm: they'd be made out of pizza if they could be. If we need anything, we’ll let you know. Thanks man. And be nice to Ginny!  
  
Mike, 7:17 pm: why wouldn't I be nice?  
Mike, 7:18 pm: because of the bar?  
Mike, 7:19 pm: it's fine. It's whatever. Never happened.  
  
  
  
  
August 23, 2017  
  
To: evsanders@gmail.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: How ya feeling?  
  
I called your phone and got Blip earlier today. He said he put you on mandatory rest without the internet or your phone, but I know you're sneaky and I'm counting on the fact he hasn't confiscated your tablet.  
  
Is he still alive? Do you need an alibi? Can I bring you anything?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
August 23, 2017  
  
To: baker_g@gmail.com  
From: evsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: How ya feeling?  
  
It's like you've known me forever, G. Yeah he didn't take my tablet.  
  
The man is a worrywart to the extreme. I love him dearly, but I feel like he's moments away from putting me in bubble wrap.  
  
I can't fault him too much, this past year was hard and treatments wore me out. Worried doesn't even begin to cover what Blip was.  
  
I'm glad to have this upcoming semester off though. Not gonna lie. Not that I think my husband would even let me contemplate coming back so soon.  
  
Not that he would stop me if I wanted to, but G, I hate to admit this, I am very tired.  
  
Cancer sucks.  
  
-E  
  
  
  
  
  
August 23, 2017  
  
To: evsanders@gmail.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: How ya feeling?  
  
Rest. And don't be so hard on yourself. You've been everyone’s superwoman.  
  
Let everyone else help you now.  
  
I've got books I can bring you.  
  
  
  
  
  
August 23, 2017  
  
To: baker_g@gmail.com  
From: evsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: How ya feeling?  
  
Yes, yes. Come over. I want to hear all about Mike showing up here the other night.  
  
Am I going to have to maim him for something?  
  
  
  
  
  
August 23, 2017  
  
To: evsanders@gmail.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: How ya feeling?  
  
No, he was fine. Cordial. A little awkward. He didn't expect me to open the door and he kind of just stuttered some greeting before asking for you and Blip.  
  
He didn't stay long. Had a slice of pizza and talked to the boys before staring at me awkwardly then leaving.  
  
I think he's weird about the whole bar thing which Blip did not need to tell him about. He just looked a bit lost and in need of help.  
  
Anyways, I am armed with _The Hating Game_ , _An Extraordinary Union_ , _A Gentleman in the Street_ , and _The Day of the Duchess_. ;)  
  
See you soon.  
  
-G  
  
  
  
  
September 2, 2017  
  
Livan, 10:00 am: Mami, want to go to the beach before your stuffy department party tonight? A bunch of us are going to hang for a few hours before it's back to the grind and we never see daylight again.  
  
Ginny, 10:02 am: You should've been a drama major. Yeah, I'll hang.  
  
Livan, 10:03 am: cool. I’ve got a cooler full of food. Just bring whatever you want to drink.  
  
  
  
  
Mike, 11:30 am: why is Ginny at the beach?  
  
Blip, 11:33 am: why are you at the beach?  
  
Mike, 11:33 am: I mean why is she everywhere I end up going?  
  
Blip, 11:34 am: I'm positive she just went to the beach because she likes it and not at all to do with you  
  
Mike, 11:35 am: I know it doesn't have to do with me. It’s just odd is all. I never saw Omar out. I see Ginny everywhere. It's odd. Plus she's with that guy she brought to your house for the party.  
Mike, 11:35 am: He calls her mami.  
Mike, 11:36 am: Who does that?  
  
Blip, 11:36 am: Well that's handy information I will pass along to my wife. So thanks for that. Now, mind your business and I'll see you tonight at Oscar's. 


	5. Exegesis

September 3, 2017  
  
To: mikelawson@gmail.com  
From: blsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: An idiot and a scholar  
  
Can I just say, this new turn towards you acting like a complete idiot is so charming.  
  
You vacillate between knowledgeable scholar and complete dipshit with such ease.  
  
It's awe inspiring.  
  
-Blip  
  
  
  
September 3, 2017  
  
To: blsanders@gmail.com  
From: mikelawson@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: An idiot and a scholar  
  
I think this is perhaps a bit hyperbolic.  
  
-M  
  
  
  
September 3, 2017  
  
To: mikelawson@gmail.com  
From: blsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: An idiot and a scholar  
  
You traded insults in Spanish with a native Spanish speaking Ph.D. candidate in the home of a native Spanish speaker who happens to be our boss.  
  
In between recitations of Pablo Neruda.  
  
An idiot and a scholar, my friend.  
  
Honestly, what is your problem with Livan? He’s a really great guy.  
  
  
  
September 3, 2017  
  
To: blsanders@gmail.com  
From: mikelawson@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: An idiot and a scholar  
  
I don't have a problem with Linguistics Lothario.  
  
He just seems unnecessarily smug for someone who did his thesis on syntax.  
  
  
  
September 3, 2017  
  
To: mikelawson@gmail.com  
From: blsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: An idiot and a scholar  
  
Sure. Let's go with that.  
  
  
  
September 3, 2017  
  
To: evsanders@gmail.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: Girl’s night  
  
Cara has requested a girl’s night.  
  
I think she really just wants to gossip/doesn't believe me regarding the stories I’ve told her about Mike.  
  
Do you think he’ll get any less weird as the semester starts?  
  
I hope so. It's like living on an island with an active volcano.  
  
  
  
September 3, 2017  
To: baker_g@gmail.com  
From: evsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Girl’s Night  
  
Well, that's a lovely analogy for Mike. I swear this new behavior is very new.  
  
Last year was rough. And apparently, Rachel still contacts him from time to time. Not at all an excuse for how he’s been acting, however.  
  
It was nice to hear Neruda in his native tongue maybe?  
  
Anyways, yes, please. We’ll get pizza and have drinks and I’ll be your second in all your sordid tales of Mike Lawson.  
  
What do you think of THE Mike Lawson now?  
  
  
  
September 3, 2017  
  
To: evsanders@gmail.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Girl’s night  
  
I think the bloom is off the rose. Which is okay.  
  
Knowing he's kind of an idiot helps mitigate some of my fangirl tendencies when I'm around him.  
  
  
  
September 4, 2017  
  
To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: amelia.slater@anderson.ucla.edu  
Subject: Nice meeting you  
  
Mike,  
  
It was nice to meet you at the Arguella's home. Odd, but nice. I've always been a fan of Neruda, though I suppose only in translation.  
  
Would you like to grab a coffee sometime?  
  
Best,  
Amelia  
  
  
  
September 4, 2017  
  
To: amelia.slater@anderson.ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Nice meeting you  
  
I’d love to grab a cup of coffee with you. Are you free tomorrow afternoon around 1?  
  
I need to be on campus tomorrow for a meeting. Would Joshua's Cup do?  
  
Regards,  
Mike  
  
  
  
September 4, 2017  
  
To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: amelia.slater@anderson.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Nice meeting you  
  
1 pm at Joshua's Cup is perfect. See you then.  
  
-A  
  
  
  
September 5, 2017  
  
To: undisclosed-recipients;  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Welcome to Intro to Literary Criticism with Dr. Lawson  
  
Greetings Students,  
  
I'm Ginny Baker, Ph.D. candidate and teaching assistant for Dr. Lawson for the 2017-2018 school year.  
  
We’re two weeks awake from the start of the Fall 2017 quarter so I wanted to send out the syllabus and make sure you've signed into blackboard where you'll be able to track updates and assignments throughout the quarter.  
  
You have an assignment due on the first day of class.  
  
Please be sure to read over the entire syllabus and note my office hours as well as Dr. Lawson's.  
  
I look forward to getting to know you this quarter.  
  
Regards,  
Ginny Baker  
  
  
September 6, 2017  
  
To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Thursday classes  
  
Ms. Baker,  
  
I would like for you to be in charge of teaching the Thursday seminar. You’re so much farther along than I was at this stage in the game, and your grades and papers from your first year are phenomenal.  
  
I have full confidence that you’ll be able to wrangle this group of undergrads with no problems, but if you do run into any, I am always available to you.  
  
Best,  
Mike  
  
  
  
September 6, 2017  
  
To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Thursday classes  
  
Thank you, Dr. Lawson. I look forward to taking on this class.  
  
Best,  
Ginny  
  
  
  
  
September 6, 2017  
  
To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Thursday classes  
  
Ms. Baker,  
  
You don’t need to refer to me as Dr. Lawson. Mike is just fine.  
  
-ML  
  
  
  
September 13, 2017  
  
To: baker_g@gmail.com  
From: evsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Where are you?  
  
I can't send you a text, they keep coming back as undeliverable.  
  
-E  
  
  
  
September 13, 2017  
  
To: evsanders@gmail.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Where are you?  
  
I'm at the Clark. You know this place is like a black hole of cell reception.  
  
What's going on?  
  
  
  
September 13, 2017  
  
To: baker_g@gmail.com  
From: evsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Where are you?  
  
I've already lost you to the research library, huh?  
  
Sighs.  
  
Just wanted to chat or hang or whatever. I'm going a little stir crazy. Blip's prepping for the semester. Mike's all tangled up in his new relationship or whatever it is he’s doing. My kids are approaching that age where mommy is no longer cool. My bestie is out kicking academic ass and hanging with her new bae and I'm at home. Sleeping hours at a time and watching daytime soaps.  
  
Maybe I'll start working on my book.  
  
  
  
  
September 13, 2017  
  
To: evsanders@gmail.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Where are you?  
  
First, you should just take this opportunity to rest. No one expects you to grind out a book while you're on sick leave.  
  
Second, Livan is not my bae. We are just friends. Truly.  
  
Third, you love daytime soaps. They give you a place to channel your love of drama.  
  
And good for Mike. Maybe this is what he needs to be less of a mess.  
  
-G  
  
  
  
September 13, 2017  
  
To: baker_g@gmail.com  
From: evsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Where are you?  
  
I do love other people's drama, G. You're so right about that.  
  
And maybe. Mike's not over his ex-wife. They were together for too long for Mike to just up and move on unless that's what he's been doing over the past year and it's been kept from me.  
  
Amelia seems nice. She's smart and works for the business school.  
  
I don't know. Their vibe feels all wrong to me, but who knows. It's Mike’s life, he can do what he wants.  
  
  
  
September 13, 2017  
  
To: evsanders@gmail.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Where are you?  
  
You’re going to meddle, aren’t you?  
  
  
  
September 13, 2017  
  
To: baker_g@gmail.com  
From: evsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Where are you?  
  
No.  
  
It’s...they only just met at Oscar’s party. Whatever. Whatever. I will not get involved or obsess about Mike’s very strange love life.  
  
No more than I already have.  
  
  
  
September 13, 2017  
  
To: evsanders@gmail.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Where are you?  
  
  
Whatever you say, my friend.  
  
I promise we’ll hang before the semester begins. As for now, I’ve got to go. Livan is helping me with my Italian.  
  
Not in that way.  
  
-G  
  
  
  
  



	6. Harangue

September 19, 2017

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: evelyn.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Best of luck!

Congrats on your first day as TA! I know you don't teach until Thursday, but I'm so excited for you, G.

You absolutely deserve this. Knock ‘em dead.

-Ev

 

September 19, 2017

Mike, 2:05 pm: I think these students are getting dumber every year

Blip, 2:15 pm: Welcome back. I take it your year is off to an auspicious start. How are you already disappointed on the first day of class?

Mike, 2:15 pm: I already had a student come up and beg for an extension for their first assignment.  
Mike, 2:16 pm: Which they all knew about 2 weeks in advance. And it wasn't even a taxing one. They had to read two chapters and write a 1-page summary. I could do that in my sleep  
Mike, 2:17 pm: also I had to make some asshole kid apologize for sexually harassing my TA and remind him that he should treat her like he'd treat a professor and that she's not there to be ogled. I have a feeling he’ll be dropping the class anyway  
Mike, 2:17 pm: you would think he's never seen a pretty girl before which might actually be the case.

Blip, 2:19 pm: a pretty girl, huh?

Mike, 2:19 pm: woman?

Blip, 2:19 pm:  

Mike, 2:20 pm: what's that mean?  
Mike, 2:22 pm: no seriously, what's that mean?

 

September 19, 2017

To: evelyn.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Best of luck!

Today was interesting.

I guess I never really paid much attention to my TAs and I should maybe find them and thank them.

Mike reprimanded some guy who's probably going to drop his class after today. He made a vulgar remark about me while Mike was introducing me to the class, loud enough for everyone to hear. Mike set him straight immediately.

The guy was a color of a tomato when he finished.

Also, now I have papers to grade which I love. Honestly, I love it. And I have a lecture to prepare for which scares the hell out of me. But I'm also excited. Can I come by and try out what I have planned on you?

-G

 

September 19, 2017

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: evelyn.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Best of luck!

Yes, yes! Come by! I want to see Professor Baker in action!

 

September 20, 2017

Mike, 11:35 am: I'm still confused as to what that emoji means.  
Mike, 11:36 am: are you going to tell me?  
Mike, 11:41 am: I'll just ask Ginny then

   
September 21, 2017

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Two things

Ginny,

Today's lecture was fine, not great, but fine. I don't know if it's my presence that rattled you, which in the future you will not have to worry about or the smug little shit who is no longer enrolled in the class.

Whatever it was, I know that you're fully capable of doing this. I don't have any doubts regarding your capabilities.

Don't let these students get in your head. You know way more than they do and probably always will.

And like I said, me sitting in on class today was a one-time thing. During my first assistantship, my advising professor sat in every one of my lectures and pointed out during classes what I was doing wrong. I have no intention of undermining you in that way or wasting my time and yours.

I imagine your road here was tough enough.

If you're ever in doubt, just fall back on something I've written that I'm sure you have memorized as my biggest fan.

You've got this. Don't doubt yourself.

-M

 

September 21, 2017

To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Two things

Mike,

Thank you. I practiced with Evelyn, but the real life situation was more daunting than I anticipated.

I appreciate your faith in me, however, and I hope I'm worthy of it as the semester carries on.

And I'm not your biggest fan. Can't be while you're still around.

Best,  
G

 

September 21, 2017

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Two things

Touché, Ms. Baker.

-M

p.s. remind me to ask you an emoji related question during your next office hours

 

September 22, 2017

Amelia, 1:50 pm: Your semester off to a good start?

Mike, 1:52 pm: Students are almost always a disappointment, but the few bright spots make it almost worth it. What about you?

Amelia, 1:52 pm: Working MBA students don't really have a lot of time to waste, so I have it kind of easy. It's like being in a boardroom 95% of the time and I am a master of the boardroom

Mike, 1:53 pm: I want to say something inappropriate here, but I don't know if we’re there yet

Amelia, 1:55 pm: You are welcome to try, or you can save it for after dinner tonight. STK. My treat. 8 pm.

Mike, 1:55 pm: See you then.

 

 

Mike, 11:07 pm: You know what the best part about this town is?

Blip, 11:10 pm: Are you drunk?

Mike, 11:10 pm: No

Blip, 11:10 pm: Are you in mortal peril?

Mike, 11:10 pm: No

Blip, 11:11 pm: Okay, then what is the best part about LA?

Mike, 11:11 pm: Nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing.

Blip, 11:13 pm: Great. I'm so glad we had this talk

Mike, 11:13 pm: Can’t even go to dinner in this stupid big, small town without running into my ex who shouldn't even live here anymore but is down for some professional journalism something  
Mike, 11:15 pm: she's all happy and glowing with that massive rock on her finger as if she didn't rip out my heart and let Dr. Asshole slice it into a million pieces  
Mike, 11:15 pm: Then she had the audacity to be upset with me for being out with someone else  
Mike, 11:16 pm: She keeps toying with me off and on and I can't take it. And I can honestly say if she asked me back right now I'd go. Because what else do I have?

Blip, 11:16 pm: You don't deserve what's left over from Rachel, Mike. That's not fair.

Mike, 11:20 pm: I think it's exactly what I deserve.

   
September 23, 2017

To: blsanders@gmail.com  
From: mikelawson@gmail.com  
Subject: Sorry

Sorry for last night's maudlin texts. And that they were so late.

-M

   
September 23, 2017

To: mikelawson@gmail.com  
From: blsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Sorry

Just come over for dinner tomorrow so Ev can talk some sense into you. I caught her writing a dissertation length email to you.

   
September 24, 2017

Ginny, 9:01 pm: How long have you guys been friends with Mike? Do you take in all the family-less strays? Thanks for having me to dinner tonight. I had no idea I was missing such an event.

Evelyn, 9:01 pm: You are literally always welcome. I enjoy having you around, even more, when Blip and Mike get started  
Evelyn, 9:02 pm: Mike and Blip have been friends for a long time. It's funny you mention strays because you're not far off the mark in that regard  
Evelyn, 9:02 pm: Mike and Blip met in undergrad and I met the dastardly duo when they were juniors and I was a freshman.  
Evelyn, 9:03 pm: Sometimes they're more Frick and Frack than I can deal with

Ginny, 9:03 pm: Is the Lima story true?

Evelyn, 9:03 pm: Very, unfortunately. Mike thinks that story makes him charming.

Ginny, 9:03 pm: It does… A little.

Evelyn, 9:04 pm: Oh god, not you too!

   
September 25, 2017

To: blsanders@gmail.com  
From: mikelawson@gmail.com  
Subject: Who is Trevor?

Ev and Ginny were talking and I caught the name Trevor and now I'm curious.

   
September 25, 2017

To: mikelawson@gmail.com  
From: blsander@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Who is Trevor?

You were eavesdropping and now you want to know about something that doesn't have to do with you?

I'm shocked.

   
September 25, 2017

To: blsanders@gmail.com  
From: mikelawson@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Who is Trevor?

Ginny sounded teary and I wasn't eavesdropping. I went out to pour them more wine (by the way Ginny really liked my Arrested Development joke) and as I was leaving may have heard Ev ask about someone named Trevor.

I thought she was dating Livan?

   
September 25, 2017

To: mikelawson@gmail.com  
From: blsander@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Who is Trevor?

I am not in the business of talking about other people's business.

And to my knowledge, Ginny isn't dating Livan. At least that's what my wife keeps saying so, I just listen.

 

September 25, 2017

To: blsanders@gmail.com  
From: mikelawson@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Who is Trevor?

……..

You still haven't answered my question. Why does a mention of Trevor make my TA teary?

   
September 25, 2017

To: mikelawson@gmail.com  
From: blsander@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Who is Trevor?

Oh, so your curiosity stems from a professional place, huh?

Interesting.

   
September 25, 2017

To: blsanders@gmail.com  
From: mikelawson@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Who is Trevor?

Fine. I will figure it out myself.

   
September 25, 2017

To: mikelawson@gmail.com  
From: blsander@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Who is Trevor?

You’re just gonna gossip with my wife, aren't you?

 


	7. Explication

September 25, 2017

Mike, 3:39 pm: Do you want me to bring anything Sunday? Something from the bakery? Some extra wine? Or dinner (that I buy I wouldn't want to give us food poisoning)

Evelyn, 3:41 pm: What are you up to?

Mike, 3:41 pm: I’m just trying to pull my weight. You and Blip go out of your way for me and I feel like I hardly contribute.

Evelyn, 3:41 pm: Imagine my face right now, Mike.

Mike, 3:41 pm: I’m not up to anything!

Evelyn, 3:42 pm: That’s convincing.  
Evelyn, 3:42 pm: Blip told me you asked about Trevor. Are you trying to butter me up for information?

Mike, 3:42 pm: No

Evelyn, 3:42 pm: 

Mike, 3:43 pm: I’m bad with emojis. I don't know what this means. And I don't think I can ask Ginny again. She laughed for a solid minute the last time I asked her about one.

Evelyn, 3:43 pm: 

Mike, 3:43 pm: You and Blip are made for one another

   
September 27, 2017

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: thomas.miller2@ucla.edu  
Subject: poem paraphrase assignment

Ms. Baker,

For clarification, what poem are we supposed to paraphrase again?

-Tommy

   
September 27, 2017

To: thomas.miller2@ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: poem paraphrase assignment

Tommy,

The poem can be any of your choosing. The point of the assignment is to incorporate and utilize the theory of new criticism, specifically Kant’s Critique of Judgment, and the assigned reading from Wimsatt & Beardsley, and Brooks.

If you're still struggling, you can come by during office hours and I also recommend the post-class discussions that happen once a week led by Dr. Lawson

Regards,  
Ginny

   
September 28, 2017

To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Poem assignment

Mike,

I had a student email and a few come up to me after class who are struggling with the concept of the poem assignment.

Any tips on a different way to explain it?

 

September 28, 2017

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Poem assignment

How many students? I hesitate to do so because this is the easy stuff—relatively. The Derrida makes everyone want to pull their hair out, including me.

By the way, your Derrida knowledge will be invaluable in the coming weeks so I can't wait to watch you teach that section.

I have a couple of ideas about the poetry section though that we can discuss during the post-class discussion Wednesday.

What do you want to bet that at least three people choose The Road Not Taken?

-M

   
September 28, 2017

To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Poem assignment

That's a fool's bet. No way.

When we studied this critique in undergrad, 5 people in my section worked together on Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening.

They were all shocked when they failed the assignment.

-G

   
September 28, 2017

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Poem assignment  
What poem did you choose?

 

September 28, 2017

To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Poem assignment

I chose Backwards by Warsan Shire.

The poem can start with him walking backwards into a room.  
He takes off his jacket and sits down for the rest of his life;  
that’s how we bring Dad back.  
I can make the blood run back up my nose, ants rushing into a hole.  
We grow into smaller bodies, my breasts disappear,  
your cheeks soften, teeth sink back into gums.  
I can make us loved, just say the word.  
Give them stumps for hands if even once they touched us without consent,  
I can write the poem and make it disappear.  
Step-Dad spits liquor back into glass,  
Mum’s body rolls back up the stairs, the bone pops back into place,  
maybe she keeps the baby.  
Maybe we’re okay kid?  
I’ll rewrite this whole life and this time there’ll be so much love,  
you won’t be able to see beyond it.

 

 

September 28, 2017

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Poem assignment

That's a beautiful poem.

And how did you manage to paraphrase this?

 

September 28, 2017

To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Poem assignment

I talked about the wish to do things over again, better this time around knowing what you already know and applying it to the past in hopes of better results.

A concept that's pretty simple in the life of a poem.

What about you? Do you remember your pick from back in the stone ages?

   
September 28, 2017

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Poem assignment

You're hilarious. Truly.

I chose Emily Dickinson. And I totally botched it. It was awful. My professor castigated me in front of the entire class.

I felt a Funeral, in my Brain,  
And Mourners to and fro  
Kept treading--treading--till it seemed  
That Sense was breaking through--  
….

It was bad.

But I do love Dickinson. She taught me a valuable lesson—as sometimes a chair is just a chair in poetry.

 

September 28, 2017

To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Poem assignment

And now you get to put that same fear into your students! You've closed the circle.

   
September 28, 2017

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Poem assignment

I think I preferred when you were in awe of me. You weren't quite so sharp with your response.

   
September 28, 2017

To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Poem assignment

I was never in awe of you.

   
September 28, 2017

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Poem assignment

Whatever you need to tell yourself, Ginny. We both know what's really true.

Brush up on your Derrida, I'm going to need you. And I'll see you at Blip and Ev’s this Sunday?

 

 

September 28, 2017

To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Poem assignment

Noted, and yes. See you then.

-G

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Backwards by Warsan Shire, no copying infringement intended. Please go read the rest of this gorgeous poem. 
> 
> And Emily Dickinson's I Felt A Funeral, In My Brain is also worth a read in its entirety.


	8. Dramatic Irony

October 2, 2017  
  
Ginny, 10:34 pm: I’m home  
  
Evelyn, 10:34 pm: Good. So???  
  
Ginny, 10:34 pm: ??? You told me to text you when I got home.  
  
Evelyn, 10:35 pm: Yes. And I want details now. Don't leave anything out.  
Evelyn, 10:35 pm: Give me all the vivid details. Paint me a picture with your words, G  
  
Ginny, 10:36 pm: I’m very confused. What am I supposed to be telling you about?  
  
Evelyn, 10:36 pm: Mike drove you home  
  
Ginny, 10:36 pm: yeah  
  
Evelyn, 10:36 pm: which was super nice of him  
  
Ginny, 10:36 pm: you made him drive me home  
  
Evelyn, 10:36 pm: yes because it's late and calling an Uber would've been dumb when Mike was already going in that direction  
Evelyn, 10:36 pm: I'm thinking economically here  
Evelyn, 10:37 pm: so how was it? what rousing conversation did you have on the way home?  
  
Ginny, 10:37 pm: what's happening right now? Why would you think we had a rousing conversation?  
  
Evelyn, 10:39 pm: you're joking right? I spent the last 3 hours watching you two volley back and forth in the most absurd way possible. Barely picking up on the most arcane of references made and I don't know if you know this, but I am very smart. Excessively so. You two nerds nearly wore me out. Did you seriously just not talk on the way home?  
  
Ginny, 10:39 pm: We discussed our hatred of Thoreau?  
  
Evelyn, 10:39 pm: are you unsure?  
  
Ginny, 10:39 pm: No. We discussed our hatred of Thoreau  
  
Evelyn, 10:39 pm: annnnnddd??  
  
Ginny, 10:41 pm: Ev, I honestly don't understand what's happening. We talked about Thoreau, the upcoming week’s lessons, who we thought would be withdrawing from the class and poetry. That’s it. It wasn’t that intensive or deep.  
  
Evelyn, 10:41 pm: What poetry did you talk about?  
  
Ginny, 10:41 pm: Mostly Neruda. Why?  
  
Evelyn, 10:42 pm: Seriously, that's all? That's honestly it?  
  
Ginny, 10:42 pm: yes. What else would there be?  
  
  
  
October 4, 2017  
  
To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: cara.divolo@ucla.edu  
Subject: Need sunlight  
  
G,  
  
Is it daytime? Scratch that—what day is it? I need sustenance and to see you. How are you not stuck in The Clark more with me? Why isn't your advising teacher as horrible as mine or as horrible Omar claimed?  
  
Why do you appear to be having fun this semester???  
  
Save me, G.  
  
x  
Cara  
  
  
October 4, 2017  
  
To: cara.divolo@ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Need sunlight  
  
Okay, you drama queen. Livan and I are dropping by the Clark and getting you for froyo.  
  
-G  
  
  
  
October 4, 2017  
  
Mike, 4:32 pm: How do I un-make an ass of myself?  
  
Blip, 4:35 pm: I think that ship sailed a long time ago, but maybe we can triage the situation. What’d you do?  
  
Mike, 4:36 pm: Say I ran into my TA at that froyo place I should do my best to avoid but never seem to manage  
Mike, 4:36 pm: Assume said TA was there with her friends, one of whom is Linguistics Lothario  
Mike, 4:36 pm: And I casually mention a Neruda translation that I feel comes closest to capturing the essence of its Spanish original  
Mike, 4:36: And Linguistics Lothario starts some didactic lesson about the weakness of any translation and how it's in line with deconstruction theory and how Ginny should make sure that my very green undergrads only learn Neruda en español  
Mike, 4:37 pm: to which I argued that deconstruction itself is a problem and assigns meaning where perhaps there is none  
Mike, 4:37 pm: And by the time we’re done... discussing? Everyone in the froyo place has practically stopped what they're doing, gaping at us and Ginny and her other friend look as mortified as two human beings can possibly look  
  
Blip, 4:38 pm: Did you get in a fight with Livan, again, at The Bigg Chill? Really?  
Blip, 4:38 pm: I don't get why you don't like this guy  
  
Mike, 4:38 pm: Not the salient point. I need help so Ginny comes to this late session thing tonight, but more importantly, I need for her not to think I'm some unstable asshole and want to continue to talk to me  
  
Blip, 4:40: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
Blip, 4:40 pm: Have you bothered to ask yourself why you're so bothered by Livan?  
  
Mike, 4:43 pm: What is that thing? Is that a different type of emoji?  
Mike, 4:43 pm: Anyway, I think the problem really is that she's got too many friends. Who needs more than 2 friends?  
  
Blip, 4:43 pm: I read your last text to Ev. She's very sad for you  
  
  
  
  
October 4, 2017  
  
To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Thank you for the post-class discussion  
  
And I feel like I should say sorry again.  
  
I don't really have an excuse, so I won't make one.  
  
Next week, I've been conscripted to manage the writing center. It's not in your purview at all, but your assistance there would be greatly appreciated. If tonight is any indication, you're much better at speaking plainly to students in a way I've nearly forgotten.  
  
If you can make any of the writing center nights, give me a call or text me. (213) 555-3643  
  
Again, don't feel obligated in any way. Just thought I'd check.  
  
Also, for the gender study portion of the class, I'd really like to include some Shire poems. Can you send me your top 3 favorite poems by her? Thanks.  
  
-M  
  
  
  
October 4, 2017  
  
To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Thank you for the post-class discussion  
  
Thank you.  
  
You don't have to keep apologizing, however.  
  
I'd be happy to help you out in the writing center. How many days would you need me?  
  
And I'll get you those Shire poems ASAP.  
  
-G  
  
  
  
October 4, 2017  
  
To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Thank you for the post-class discussion  
  
As many as you can manage?  
  
-M  
  
  
  
October 9, 2017  
  
To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: UCDavisTrevor@gmail.com  
Subject: Hey  
  
How are you, G? The last email I sent to you came back. Guess you're only using this one now.  
  
I'm in LA for the next couple of weeks. I know there's a lot of things between us, but there were parts that were so great.  
  
I'd love to see you. To just talk. I miss you.  
  
-Trevor  
  
  
  
October 9, 2017  
  
Mike, 7:02 pm: What kind of an asshole ex is Trevor? Tell me quickly because I'm thinking of finding the guy and beating the shit out of him.  
Mike, 7:02 pm: Ginny left here shaking like a leaf after she got an email from him  
Mike, 7:02 pm: (yes, I read over her shoulder don't judge me.)  
  
Blip, 7:04 pm: She's on the phone with Evelyn now. I imagine she’ll be coming over soon  
  
Mike, 7:04 pm: I'm at this stupid writing lab until 9. I hate seeing Ginny shaken up like this. What'd he do to her?  
  
Blip, 7:04 pm: I don't know all the details, but from what Ev told me, they were in a Master's program together and he tried to steal part of her work as his own. They both had to go before a disciplinary board and they were close to suspending Ginny until they could investigate further. Once they found out what Trevor did, they expelled him, but Ginny feels like she took a pretty big hit to her academic reputation even though the truth won out.  
  
Mike, 7:07 pm: Murder is still totally illegal, right?  
  
Blip, 7:07 pm: Unfortunately  
  
  
October 10, 2017  
  
Ginny, 6:52 pm: Was it you or your husband who told Mike about Trevor?  
  
Evelyn, 6:52 pm: It was most definitely Blip. Why, what's wrong?  
  
Ginny, 6:52 pm: Mike is being overly conciliatory tonight in the writing lab. He mentioned Trevor and then tripped over all his words after he did.  
Ginny, 6:52 pm: I really didn't want him to know, but through all the crazy shit he said, he made it clear that there's no way he’d let anyone damage my academic reputation... Which was nice.  
  
Evelyn, 6:53 pm: Mike can be surprising sometimes, but once he's in your corner, he's always there.  
Evelyn, 6:53 pm: Just like us Sanders. But I can yell at Blip for you if you’d like  
  
Ginny, 6:53 pm: No, it's alright. It feels nice to have someone else who believes me. Other than being constantly annoyed by Livan, Mike’s a pretty great guy.  
Ginny, 6:53 pm: And an excellent professor, of course.  
  
Evelyn, 6:55 pm: Professor. Sure.  
  
  
October 11, 2017  
  
Cara, 6:53 pm: So your advising teacher is a hottie. Even that stupid beard can't detract from that. And OMG he sometimes wears glasses?? I guess the balance is he's kind of a social weirdo.  
  
Ginny, 6:53 pm: Where are you right now?  
  
Cara, 6:53 pm: Across the lab. Seriously, G. He's sexy.  
  
Ginny, 6:53 pm: Yeah I guess.  
  
Cara, 6:54 pm: Methinks the lady does protest too much  
  
Ginny, 6:55 pm: ??? I didn't protest at all. I’m agreeing with you.  
  
Cara, 6:55 pm: Barely. Seriously, I know the guy is a bit reactionary, but generally only where Livan is concerned. He seems to rely on you quite a bit.  
  
Ginny, 6:56 pm: Isn’t that what's supposed to happen with a TA?  
  
Cara, 6:56 pm: Sure, but he also defers to you as well. That's atypical. Plus there's the staring.  
  
Ginny, 6:56 pm: I literally have no idea what you're talking about, but I’ve got to go be helpful now.   
  
Cara, 6:57 pm: I just watched you turn off your phone  
Cara, 6:57 pm: But I’m going to text you anyway because I want to and you'll read these eventually  
Cara, 6:57 pm: Mike Lawson lucked out with you as a TA and he knows it and it's not just to save his ass. He's impressed by you G, just like we all are.  
Cara, 6:58 pm: I can't believe I get to bear witness to these long soulful stares. Christ, how do you not just spontaneously combust?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	9. Connotation

October 12, 2017  
  
To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: oscar.arguella@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Reminder: Family Weekend Panel  
  
Mike,  
  
Family Weekend is coming up soon, October 20-22. Just wanted to remind you about sitting on the academic panel. You were out of last year's rotation because of sabbatical, but it's your turn this year along with Blip. The panel is October 20, 5-6pm. There's a dinner afterward, but you don't have to attend that.  
  
Let me know if you have any issues or questions. The organizing committee should be in touch with you soon.  
  
Best,  
Oscar  
  
  
  
October 12, 2017  
  
Mike, 2:20 pm: Why?  
  
Blip, 2:21 pm: What?  
  
Mike, 2:21 pm: No one should put me on an academic panel with a microphone in front of parents who believe they have smart kids  
  
Blip, 2:24 pm: Well, that's true. But I'll be there too, buddy. And I'll do my best to keep you from looking like an asshole.  
Blip, 2:24 pm: Sorry, that should say like more of an asshole than usual  
  
Mike, 2:25 pm: I'm going to get new friends  
  
  
  
  
October 13, 2017  
  
Ginny, 5:53 pm: Hey Mike, it's Ginny. I'm running a little late to the lab, but I'll be there. I'm at J-cup, want anything?  
  
Mike, 5:53 pm: Hey. Don't worry about today's lab. I'm sure you've got better things to do than sitting around here on a Friday night. Besides this place is like a ghost town.  
  
Ginny, 5:53 pm: I don't mind. It's Friday the 13th. I'd rather be in the library than out anywhere around campus. It'll give me a chance to grade papers anyway. Want an almond joy mocha? That's your frou-frou drink of choice, right?  
  
Mike, 5:54 pm: Your derision is noted and ignored. As long as you're sure. I'd love one, thanks. Have you read any of the papers yet? How are they?  
  
Ginny, 5:55 pm: No problem. And yes, I have. And...They're a mixed bag. You'll see. Oh, and I have some Shire poems for you to look at.  
  
Mike, 5:55 pm: You can go ahead and just add them into the lesson packet. No need to show me them first. I'm sure they're perfect.  
  
Ginny, 5:55 pm: You sure? I would hate for you to not like them or think them too simple.  
  
Mike, 5:55 pm: I’m positive whatever you've chosen will be great. I very much doubt you'd pick poorly.  
  
Ginny, 5:56 pm: Alright. I'll see you in a bit. Do you want whipped cream on your mocha?  
  
Michael, 5:56 pm: Yes, and I can feel your judgment from here. Thanks.  
  
  
  
  
  
Cara, 6:18 pm: You brought Mike coffee but not me?  
  
Ginny, 6:18 pm: I thought you'd be out with Omar. Why are you back in your sad corner?  
  
Cara, 6:19 pm: This is my home now. I live beneath these tables. Seriously though, this place is perfect on a Friday.  
Cara, 6:19 pm: Plus I've gotten to observe Dr. Lawson in secret  
Cara, 6:19 pm: He was smiling at his phone like a loon earlier. It was cute. He's got a great smile.  
  
Ginny, 6:19 pm: Go back to your studying.  
  
Cara, 6:20 pm: *sigh* Tell Dr. Hottie he should smile more!  
  
  
  
  
October 14, 2017  
  
Amelia, 12:30 pm: Heard you’re also going to be a part of the faculty panel during Family Weekend. It'll be good to see you.  
  
Mike, 12:34 pm: Hey. Didn't think I'd be hearing from you again.  
  
Amelia, 12:34 pm: Leaving dinner to go chase after your ex-wife isn't a great way to build anything long lasting, but we can still have fun. I'm not interested in something serious. Are you?  
  
Mike, 12:35 pm: I could say I'm not, but that would be a lie. Other than a brief period of time after my divorce, I'm pretty much a relationship guy. And it's fine that you're not. If you're ever in the market for just another friend, let me know.  
Mike, 12:35 pm: And yes, I'll be on the panel. It’s a punishment of sorts.  
  
  
  
October 15, 2017  
  
Mike, 5:07 pm: Do you want a ride to Blip and Ev’s?  
  
Ginny, 5:07 pm: I don't want you to have to go out of your way  
  
Mike, 5:07 pm: It’s not at all out of the way. So?  
  
Ginny, 5:09 pm: Sure. That'd be really nice. Thanks.  
  
Mike, 5:09 pm: Of course. I'll pick you up around 6  
  
  
  
  
  
Evelyn, 9:37 pm: You're no longer allowed to be on a team with Mike. You're both too competitive.  
  
Ginny, 9:37 pm: Maybe you and Blip are just sore losers  
  
Evelyn, 9:37 pm: Maybe you and Mike are cheaters  
  
Ginny, 9:38 pm: He wants me to let you know that he's outraged and would never cheat at Scrabble  
  
Evelyn, 9:38 pm: Whatever. Family night is getting new rules thanks to you both  
Evelyn, 9:38 pm: Wait—you’re still together? You two left half an hour ago  
  
Ginny, 9:38 pm: We stopped for froyo  
  
Evelyn, 9:39 pm: I made pound cake  
  
Ginny, 9:39 pm: Perfect pound cake. But Mike mentioned froyo. They have their seasonal pumpkin pie flavor at The Bigg Chill.  
  
Evelyn, 9:40 pm: Mentioned, or asked you out for froyo?  
  
Ginny, 9:42 pm: Mentioned. It’s on the way home. We just made a pit stop.  
  
Evelyn, 9:42 pm: Did he pay for your froyo?  
  
Ginny, 9:42 pm: Yeah. He insisted since it was his idea, but I told him he didn't have to. He said he was just paying me back for the coffee I got him the other day.  
  
Evelyn, 9:42 pm: Sure. Okay. Great.  
  
Ginny, 9:42 pm: What am I missing?  
  
Evelyn, 9:45 pm: Nothing. Enjoy your froyo.  
  
  
  
  
October 16, 2017  
  
To: blsanders@gmail.com; mikelawson@gmail.com; baker_g@gmail.com  
From: evsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: New Rules for Sunday Dinners/Family Nights  
  
Heretofore are the permanent rules set forth for Sanders family nights, effective immediately. They are subject to change as deemed necessary by me, but the adherence to these rules are non-negotiable.  
  


  1. Dinner table conversations must be held in languages everyone understands—this means primarily English & Spanish. 
  2. No debates about the greatest living poets
  3. No debates about the greatest deceased poets
  4. No Derrida. Ever. 
  5. No arcane words in Scrabble



  
Any other rules as I think of them will be added to the official list.  
  
-E  
  
  
  
October 17, 2017  
  
To: blip.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: I signed up for the family weekend 5k  
  
Can I persuade you to join me?  
  
  
  
October 17, 2017  
  
To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: blip.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: I signed up for the family weekend 5k  
  
Why would you sign up?  
  
And no, no I will not join you. It's the morning before the game and it's going to be the first extended period out for Ev in a while and she's insisting on tailgating, so I’m going to make sure my wife doesn't wear herself out.  
  
Btw, you're invited, and Ginny invited Livan as well.  
  
Prepare accordingly.  
  
  
  
  
October 17, 2017  
  
To: blip.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: I signed up for the family weekend 5k  
  
Funny you mention Livan.  
  
I know he's coming to the tailgate. He was in the office during Ginny's office hours.  
  
He and Ginny signed up to do the 5k. He mentioned something about ivory tower academics and being too good to talk to “regular people” whoever the hell that is.  
  
Anyway, I'm running the 5k.  
  
  
  
  
October 17, 2017  
  
To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: blip.sanders@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: I signed up for the family weekend 5k  
  
There aren't even any words left for you, man.  
  
Make sure you stretch. I'll have some ice packs waiting for you at the tailgate.  
  
  
  
  
October 20, 2017  
  
Amelia, 7:36 pm: Forgot to ask you before you left, are you going to tailgate before the game tomorrow?  
  
Mike, 7:41 pm: Yeah. With Blip and Evelyn.  
  
Amelia, 7:41 pm: Mind if I tag along? I can bring whatever.  
  
Mike, 7:41 pm: Sure, no sweat. Ev and Blip are pretty good on food. Just bring what you'd like to drink. We’ll be at the north side of the stadium around 1.  
  
Amelia, 7:41 pm: Great. Thanks Mike  
  


  
  
October 21, 2017  
  
Mike, 9:03 am: I didn't die. I completed the 5k. And managed to make better time than Livan. For all his talk, he's a pretty terrible runner.  
  
Blip, 9:04 am: It wasn't a race. It was just a fun run.  
  
Mike, 9:04 am: Then why'd they give us timers? Anyway I won so I can celebrate with beer at the tailgate  
Mike, 9:07 am: Oh before I forget, Amelia is going to be joining us as well  
  
Blip, 9:07 am: Your ex-girlfriend?  
  
Mike, 9:07 am: We were never that serious. We went out a handful of times and when she said she was fine with casual, I told her I wasn't.  
Mike, 9:07 am: Anyway, we’re friendly and she asked about the tailgate so I said sure  
  
Blip, 9:08 am: I … Yeah, I'm just gonna let you figure this one out on your own.  
  


 

  
Evelyn, 5:30 pm: Are you okay?  
  
Ginny, 5:30 pm: Of course. Why wouldn't I be?  
  
Evelyn, 5:30 pm: G. It's just me. It's okay to be disappointed or feel some kind of way after this afternoon  
  
Ginny, 5:33 pm: I'm not disappointed and I feel fine. It was a great afternoon. Thanks for doing so much. You didn't wear yourself out, did you?  
  
Evelyn, 5:33 pm: No. Blip wouldn't let me. Right now, I'm most concerned about my best friend and her heart. You can deny it all you want, G, and you can choose to keep it from me although I wish you wouldn't. I swear I won't judge or use it against you, but I have eyes. It's okay to be upset. I know you like Mike more than you want to admit.  
  
Ginny, 5:35 pm: I can't be upset about something that never was. It was just a stupid crush. It's much better this way, truly. He's my advising professor for the whole year. Nothing was going to happen, and now I'm sure of it.  
Ginny, 5:35 pm: It’s better this way.  


  
  
October 22, 2017  
  
To: janetbaker@yahoo.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: Thanksgiving  
  
Hey mom,  
  
I booked a flight home for Thanksgiving. Can't wait to see you.  
  
Love,  
Ginny


	10. Ambiguity

October 24, 2017

To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Papers

I finished grading the papers and have input the grades in the system. It's just waiting for your final review.

The physical papers are in the inbox on your desk.

-Ginny

 

 

October 24, 2017

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Papers

Ginny,

Thanks. Since we’re getting closer to midterms, I thought we could use tomorrow's post class discussion as a way to go over any difficulties students have had in the past few weeks.

And it was pointed out to me that it may be a good incentive to bring in food, so I'm going to get some pastries from Four & Twenty. Any special requests? I believe they’re still featuring the sweet potato mini pie you love so much.

-M

 

 

 

October 24, 2017

To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Papers

I actually won't be able to make it to tomorrow's post-class discussion. I can see if I can rearrange my schedule if need be.

 

 

 

October 24, 2017

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Papers

No, no, that's okay. As always, it's not a requirement for you to be there. I’ve just gotten so used to you being there, that I assumed and I shouldn't have done that.

Don't worry about it.

I'll see you later this week.

-M

 

 

 

October 26, 2017

Ginny, 3:54 pm: Hey, I just wanted to let you know I think I'm going to forgo Sunday dinners for a bit

Evelyn, 3:54 pm: Why? What happened?

Ginny, 3:54 pm: I imposed in the first place, Ev, and it's okay. And I will make an extra concerted effort to come see you other times. I promise.

Evelyn, 3:55 pm: You didn't answer the question, G. What happened?

Ginny, 3:58 pm: Nothing apart from my own stupidity. Mike came in for the last 15 minutes of today's lecture and he stayed after for a bit. Things just feel weird now, but it's only me that they feel weird to because he has a girlfriend and I know that and he's my advising professor and I definitely know that. Nothing's going to change so I'm going to go back to maintaining the professional distance I never should've lost and that means not being in the warm, intimate setting of a Sanders family dinner.

Evelyn, 3:58 pm: G, you're not going to be his TA forever.

Ginny, 4:01 pm: It’s fine. We’re never mentioning this again after today. Yes, I'm bummed, but it's of my own doing. Mike didn't encourage these feelings, looking back, so this is on me. I just need time to get over it. I'm going to go home for Thanksgiving and then we have a long break after the semester is over and everything will go back to being normal by then.

Evelyn, 4:01 pm: You really believe it's one-sided?  
Evelyn, 4:02 pm: And you're not coming to mine for Thanksgiving?!?

Ginny, 4:05 pm: All the evidence says it is. And I can't exactly ask. I really...I'll be fine.  
Ginny, 4:05 pm: I already booked my ticket home. I don't know. Maybe it'll be nice.

Evelyn, 4:05 pm: Can you come over today?

Ginny, 4:05 pm: Sure.

 

 

 

October 27, 2017

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: cara.divolo@ucla.edu  
Subject: No more Gloomy Gus Ginny

We’re going out tomorrow night, G. It's Halloween weekend! I'm going to break free of the Clark, and you're going to shake off the doldrums of whatever funk has taken my usually sunshine-y friend away.

(It's totally okay that you've been moody. As long as the mood isn’t because of Trevor Davis. I hate that guy. If it's because if him, I'm gonna go full Amazonian warrior on his ass.)

I will make sure the bar we go to has appropriate seating and music at a volume where we can still hear and speak. We are not 21.

(Though we can still rock some skimpy costumes.)

I love you G, and you know you can tell me whatever, but barring that, we can go out and party like we’re undergrads again—within reason.

x  
Cara

 

 

 

October 27, 2017

To: cara.divolo@ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: No more Gloomy Gus Ginny

I like this plan.

Let's go costume shopping. I'm on my way to rescue you from the Clark.

And thanks, C.

-G

 

 

 

October 27, 2017

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: cara.divolo@ucla.edu  
Subject: No more Gloomy Gus Ginny

I've already got our costumes! Get ready to be a Peach!

 

 

 

October 27, 2017

To: cara.divolo@ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: No more Gloomy Gus Ginny

What?

 

 

 

October 27, 2017

Rachel, 7:15 pm: I need you to take Hans back. David and I are coming into town late tomorrow. Can you meet up?

Mike, 7:25 pm: Why are you returning Hans? He might not do well with the change now, Rach. He's a pretty old dog.

Rachel, 7:25 pm: He’s not adjusted well to life up here. And David and I are having a baby. I can't deal with Hans, too.

Mike, 7:27 pm: Sure, I’ll take Hans back. Where do you want to meet?

Rachel, 7:27 pm: That diner at the pier we used to like. I'm craving their Applejack waffles.

Mike, 7:30 pm: Fine. Congrats on the baby.

Rachel, 7:30 pm: Thanks. I'll call you when we’re close by

 

 

October 28, 2017

Evelyn, 2:30 pm: The boys are going to a junior high Halloween party two houses down tonight and I'm nervous

Ginny, 2:30 pm: You wouldn't be you, Ev if you weren't. They're gonna be fine. They don't have to get in anyone's car. They can walk home. You'll be able to monitor the noise. They'll be fine. And so will you.

Evelyn, 2:31 pm: I don't have babies anymore. What am I going to do tonight?

Ginny, 2:31 pm: Hang out with your husband in a child free home.

Evelyn, 2:31 pm: I guess. I do love that man a whole lot. What are you up to tonight?

Ginny, 2:33 pm: I'm going out with Cara, Livan, and Omar. Maybe some other ppl, idk. There's some Halloween house party out in Santa Monica that's supposed to be “epic.” I really just want to go home and go to sleep, to be honest. It's been a long week.

Evelyn, 2:33 pm: Well I hope you have a wonderful time. And call if you need me to come get you!

Ginny, 2:34 pm: I will have fun, but I will not call you. You relax and enjoy your evening.

Evelyn, 2:34 pm: Send me a picture of your costume!!

 

 

 

 

Mike, 11:07 pm: You know what's such a weird thing to see?

Blip, 11:07 pm: Your ex-wife? How are you holding up by the way?

Mike, 11:07 pm: That's... not at all what I was going to say which is odd. I saw Rachel. I'm fine. She's pregnant which great for her. I got my dog back which is even better than that. But that's not what's weird.

Blip, 11:08 pm: Then what is?

Mike, 11:08 pm: Calling someone, watching them look at their phone, frown, hit ignore, and then put their phone away.

Blip, 11:08 pm: Did someone do this to you?

Mike, 11:08 pm: Yep. Ginny. She and her friends stumbled into the cafe I'm at. They're all in costumes. Ginny and her friend are dressed like Peaches.

Blip, 11:09 pm: Ginny’s dressed like a piece of fruit?

Mike, 11:10 pm: No. Like the Rockford Peaches. From A League of Their Own.  
Mike, 11:10 pm: Anyway, it's very odd to watch someone ignore your call. And unexpected. But, she's out with friends and I guess I shouldn't expect her to answer. She probably thought it was about class.

Blip, 11:10 pm: Why would she think you were calling about class at 11 pm on a Saturday night.

Mike, 11:11 pm: It wouldn't be the first time.

Blip, 11:11 pm: I would never think to call my TAs late on a Saturday. Or any day really.

Mike, 11:11 pm: Your wife is infinitely smarter than the both of us or any TA you've ever had. You'd have no need. Ginny is... bright and funny. And challenges my way of thinking. I've come to rely on her a lot. I like thinking out loud with her.  
Mike, 11:11 pm: I'm sure I'm over thinking this. She's out having a good time. It was just weird to see. I can tease her about it tomorrow at yours.

Blip, 11:12 pm: You can't. She won't be here tomorrow.

Mike, 11:12 pm: Oh. Okay.

 

 

 

October 29, 2017

Mike, 2:35 pm: Hey, want to ride with me to the Sanders’?

Ginny, 2:50 pm: No, thanks. I'm not going to dinner tonight. I'll see you in class on Tuesday.

Mike, 2:50 pm: Okay. Have a nice weekend.

 

 

 

October 29, 2017

To: baker_g@gmail.com  
From: evsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: You missed meeting a puppy

You must be at the Clark cause your texts are bouncing back…Or are you ignoring me, too?

(Kidding.)

Mike brought Hans to dinner. The boys love Hans. He just wants to be loved. Sat at my feet for the majority of the night.

Mike seemed pretty down tonight. And a bit like old moody Mike. He told Blip he saw you ignore his call.

G, I can't tell you what to do, but Mike’s lost a lot over the past year, and above all else, I know he values your friendship and your mind.

Honestly, I think the guy is vying for president of the Ginny Baker fan club.

I know you're hurting right now, and you don't see any way out of that, but don't stop being the guy's friend. If you can manage it.

Love you, G  
-Ev


	11. Elliptical Construction

November 1, 2017

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: I could really use your help tonight

Hey,

Today's the last post-class discussion before students turn in their midterm papers and the last one before the break.

Do you think you could make it tonight? It would be such a help to me, and to the students.

-M

 

 

  
November 1, 2017

To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: I could really use your help tonight

Sure, I can make it.

-G

 

 

  
November 1, 2017

Evelyn, 4:23 pm: I’m out of the house! I'm on campus! Can you meet for a quick cup of coffee?

Ginny, 4:23 pm: Yes, yes! I can meet you at J-Cup in 10 minutes

Evelyn, 4:23 pm: Excellent. I want to see all your pics from Halloween.

 

 

 

Evelyn, 4:25 pm: Hey, you free right now? I'm on campus. Meet me at J-Cup?

Mike, 4:25 pm: Blip let you out of his sight? Wow. Yeah, I'm free. I'll come meet you.

Evelyn, 4:25 pm: Great. Let me buy your sad beard a cup of coffee.

Mike, 4:26 pm: My beard isn't sad. And I'm not sad either.

Evelyn, 4:26 pm: Whatever. There's an almond joy mocha with whip waiting on you.

 

 

 

Evelyn, 6:05 pm: Sorry I had to rush off. I'll make it up to you.

Ginny, 6:05 pm: It’s okay. Is Gabe alright?

Evelyn, 6:05 pm: Yeah. Why wouldn't he be?

Ginny, 6:06 pm: Because you had to rush and get him because he hurt himself at football practice?

Evelyn, 6:12 pm: Oh god! Turns out he was just a little winded. Nothing major. Thank you. The coaches are very super proactive about preventing serious injuries and what not.  
Evelyn, 6:12 pm: So what happened after I left?

Ginny, 6:12 pm: Nothing.

Evelyn, 6:12 pm: ….That makes no sense to me. Did you guys not talk? Did you just sit and stare at each other?

Ginny, 6:15 pm: Mike and I finished our coffee. And Mike bought a slice of pie that we shared. We talked about the study guide I created. Just basic stuff.

Evelyn, 6:15 pm: You shared a slice of pie?

Ginny, 6:15 pm: It was more that he bought a slice of pie and didn't think he could finish it by himself so...It's not a big deal.  
Ginny, 6:15 pm: You wouldn't use your kids as an excuse to set something up between me and Mike, would you?  
Ginny, 6:16 pm: Because nothing’s going to happen, Ev.  
Ginny, 6:16 pm: He’s got a girlfriend. He's my professor. He reciprocates zero of my feelings.

Evelyn, 6:16 pm: I would never use my children for nefarious purposes, G.  
Evelyn, 6:17 pm: And only one of those statements are factual. Until May at least.

Ginny, 6:17 pm: Wait, what?

 

 

  
November 3, 2017

To: undisclosed-recipients;  
From: dana.jeffries@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Department Holiday Potluck & Gift Exchange

The annual department potluck is coming up soon!  
You can find the signup sheet for the potluck on the 17th posted on of my office door.

Also, if you'd like to participate in the gift exchange/Secret Santa this year, you can email me off list. You will be able to draw a name on November 8.

Please stop by to sign up for the potluck before November 10.

Regards,  
Dana

 

 

  
November 3, 2017

Evelyn, 11:07 am: Can you go sign me up to bring pies, please?

Blip, 11:07 am: Yes, I can.  
Blip, 11:10 am: As an aside, you wouldn't be trying to set up two of our friends, would you?

Evelyn, 11:10am: ??? I don't follow

Blip, 11:10 am: Mike went to go meet you for coffee all sad and gloomy when he passed by my office the other day. When he came back, with a coffee for me by the way, which he never does, he was happy.  
Blip 11:10 am: And he's been weirdly happy ever since. Like, overly so.  
Blip, 11:10 am: Happier than I've seen him in a long time. He might've actually smiled today but it's hard to tell with the beard.  
Blip, 11:11 am: Anyway, I asked him why the change in mood and he shrugged. But almost immediately mentioned Ginny in the next breath.  
Blip, 11:11 am: Oh, and that he hoped Gabe wasn’t hurt too bad from football practice. Which is really odd cause Gabe wasn't at football practice Wednesday. He was at the tutors.  
Blip, 11:12 am: So, my darling, devious wife, are you trying to set up our two friends? In case you've forgotten, Ginny is currently Mike’s TA. And Mike is a professor.

Evelyn, 11:15 am: Don’t you worry about what I've done. Everything is well handled and completely under control. I promise.

Blip, 11:15 am: Ev

Evelyn, 11:15 am: I love you very much have a great class.

 

 

  
November 4, 2017

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Next semester

Ginny,

I can't believe it's already time to think about next semester's class. Since that class is a MWF format, how would you feel about teaching 2 of the days? It can be any two, I’m not picky about what you choose.

I would like to cover several major poets in their native tongue, keeping a large focus on the 20th century in particular. Even contemporary poetry. I know how fond you are of Shire, and I've even picked up a few of her volumes recently thanks to you.

Anyway, I can send you my syllabus from a couple years back. I'm not thrilled with it, but there are some good pieces.

Maybe we can talk about it tomorrow at Ev and Blip’s, even though it may violate Ev’s rules.

Thanks for making this semester so great.

-M

Attached: PoetryinFluxSyllabus_2015.pdf

 

 

  
November 4, 2017

To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Next semester

Mike,

I'm really glad this semester has gone so well. I've enjoyed working with you.

I'll look through the syllabus you sent and send you my ideas.

I'm not going to be at Ev and Blip's tomorrow. I've already booked myself to help a friend with paper grading. I'll stop by your office first thing Monday.

Now, I'm sure you’ve got better things to do on this lovely and temperate Saturday besides email your TA. Go enjoy your day.

-Ginny

 

 

  
November 4, 2017

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Next semester

I don't have anything better to do, actually. I take up enough of my only two friends’ time as is. There is Hans, too, of course. But, I tried playing fetch with him earlier, and he just went and got in his bed instead.

He's an old man like me. Aside from just taking a long walk down the beach or lounging outside, it's pretty much just reading and thinking about class.

Such an exciting life, right? Hope you have a great rest of your weekend.

-M

 

 

  
November 4, 2017

To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Next semester

I don't know if I should be sad for you or upset with you. If you're only going to have two friends, you can't do better than the Sanders.

However, I may still be a student, but I hope you can count me as a friend, too.

You should take Hans to the beach. Let him chase the seagulls.

-G

 

 

  
November 4, 2017

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Next semester

Hans would rather chase the water than birds which I'm pretty grateful for.

And I'm very happy to have you as a friend. See you Monday.

-M

 

 

  
November 5, 2017

Evelyn, 4:10 pm: Are you really not coming by today?

Ginny, 4:10 pm: I can't. I promised Cara I'd help her with paper grading. We’re heading to the Clark in a bit. Sorry.

Evelyn, 4:11 pm: Fine. I guess it'll be another gloomy Mike at dinner then.

Ginny, 4:15 pm: I don't see why. I told him yesterday that I wouldn't be at dinner. He seemed okay via email.

Evelyn, 4:15 pm: So you're speaking to him again, huh?

Ginny, 4:15 pm: You told me I should be his friend, and you're right. Mike is wonderful. And a fantastic professor. And I'd like to be his friend. Because that's better than nothing and nothing’s going to happen on any other front.  
Ginny, 4:15 pm: Thank you for meddling though. I do like talking to Mike. It's not his fault how I feel.

 

 

 

Blip, 9:04 pm: I realized something tonight at dinner.

Mike, 9:04 pm: That your wife is far too good for you?

Blip, 9:04 pm: Hilarious. But, I've always known that. No. I realized something about you.

Mike, 9:04 pm: Is it going to be something mean? Cause I gotta tell you, I think I've taken enough hits for the time being.

Blip, 9:04 pm: No, nothing mean. Just something I wish I could un-know.

Mike, 9:05 pm: Must be bad if you're making up words.

Blip, 9:05 pm: You mentioned Ginny 25 times tonight.

Mike, 9:05 pm: No I didn't.

Blip, 9:05 pm: You did. I counted.

Mike, 9:06 pm: Why on earth would you do that?

Blip, 9:08 pm: Curiosity. I told myself that Mike wouldn't—couldn’t—let himself develop feelings for his teaching assistant. He couldn't possibly be that crazy.

Mike, 9:08 pm: Blip.

Blip, 9:08 pm: But then I thought about it. And I listened, and while I still think this is utterly stupid, Mike, I think... you really care about her.  
Blip, 9:08 pm: Please don't confirm or insult me by denying it. I really should have noticed sooner.  
Blip, 9:08 pm: But like you said, my wife is smarter than the both of us.

 

 

 

November 6, 2017

To: undisclosed-recipients;  
From: dana.jeffries@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Holiday Gift Exchange

You're receiving this email because you've opted into the holiday gift exchange. The week leading up the party, you’re to provide 2 small gifts Wednesday & Thursday, November 15 & 16, no more than $5/day, with the main gift of no more than $20 the day of the party, Friday, November 17, all anonymously.

You have the option to reveal your identity at the party to the person you select, or keep it a secret.

Please stop by the comp lit office to make your selection until this Friday.

Regards,  
Dana

 

 

 

  
November 7, 2017

Mike, 10:03 am: I'm at J-Cup. Want a coffee?

Ginny, 10:03 am: Thank you. Yes, that'd be great.

Mike, 10:03 am: Of course. Did you sign up for the gift exchange?

Ginny, 10:04 am: I did. Did you?

Mike, 10:04 am: Yep. Who'd you get?

Ginny, 10:04 am: Evelyn. Which sounds easy, but she's so hard to shop for. Who'd you get?

Mike, 10:04 am: I’m not telling.

Ginny, 10:04 am: I told you!

Mike, 10:05 am: No one made you do that. I simply asked a question. It’s supposed to be anonymous, you know.

Ginny, 10:05 am: You’re a cheat. I hope you end up with lumps of coal.

Mike, 10:05 am: Noted. I'll be in the office with your mocha in 10.

 


	12. Carpe Diem

November 15, 2017

Cara, 12:03 pm: I stole a piece of licorice from your desk.

Ginny, 12:03 pm: There’s licorice on my desk?

Cara, 12:03 pm: G, there's a whole smorgasbord of candy and treats on your desk with a note. I didn't read it. But, I wanted to.

Ginny, 12:05 pm: How’d you manage to resist?

Cara, 12:05 pm: With great restraint. I rewarded myself by taking a piece of fudge though. Your hottie professor stopped by looking for you. He didn't say very much. Just lifted an eyebrow as he saw me rifling through your sweets. His glower is amazingly sexy.

Ginny, 12:05 pm: Leave my candy and fudge alone!

   
November 15, 2017

To: Ginny Baker  
From: Your Secret Santa

So are you to my thoughts as food to life,  
Or as sweet-season'd showers are to the ground…

   
November 15, 2017

Evelyn, 6:45 pm: I’m tired of you missing dinners. Without you, I'm overrun by boys. And man-aged boys.

Ginny, 6:45 pm: I’m sorry. I'll be back after Thanksgiving.

Evelyn, 6:45 pm: I can't believe you're actually going home. How's Will? How's your mom?

Ginny, 6:46 pm: Fine I guess. You know we don't really talk all that much. My brother's latest scheme involves my mother's new husband, so it'll either go well or make our family even more of a disaster.

Evelyn, 6:46 pm: I’m sorry. Family is never easy. When do you leave for home and come back?

Ginny, 6:46 pm: I leave next Tuesday, and come back on Friday. Even my impulsive decision didn't keep me there for long.

Evelyn, 6:46 pm: Well, you're expected at the Sunday dinner after you return because I will not be cooking anything additional and you'll need to help me eat up the leftovers.

Ginny, 6:49 pm: You really think you'll have leftovers? With Blip and the boys there to demolish it all?

Evelyn, 6:49 pm: And Mike. And my mom and dad, brother and sister-in-law. Blip's two cousins as well. I'm cooking for an army, G.

Ginny, 6:49 pm: Wow. See, you'll hardly miss me. And Mike will be there for Thanksgiving?

Evelyn, 6:50 pm: He’s family, so of course. I don't know much about his dad, but his mom isn't big on staying in one place so he doesn't see her often. And he's an only child.

Ginny, 6:50 pm: He said something once about you and Blip being his only friends. I guess he wasn't being hyperbolic.

Evelyn, 6:50 pm: No, he wasn't.

Ginny, 6:50 pm: Well, don't worry. He's got a friend in me. I promise.

Evelyn, 6:50 pm: I’m so glad to hear it. Oh, btw. Blip brought home my holiday exchange gift and I think I know who my Secret Santa is.  
Even, 6:50 pm: I think it's you. It's you, isn't it?

Ginny, 6:50 pm: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Evelyn, 6:51 pm: Mhmm. What'd you get from Santa?

Ginny, 6:51 pm: A box of incredible candy and fudge. Including some very hard to find peppermint puffs that I've only seen in NC. I had to keep everyone's roving hands out of it today. Plus the note was two lines from Shakespeare. A truly excellent gift.

Evelyn, 6:51 pm: Wow. Sounds like quite the dedicated gifter.

   
November 16, 2017

To: Ginny Baker  
From: Secret Santa

For the words you've never let escape, but should. A place where you don't have to hide them.

   
November 16, 2017

Ginny, 3:24 pm: I got the most beautiful journal today from my Secret Santa. It feels weird talking about this in November, but whatever. It’s so gorgeous. Do you know I've never owned a journal?

Evelyn, 3:27 pm: How’s that even possible?

Ginny, 3:27 pm: Growing up, neither one of my parents believed that privacy was a thing their kids deserved. My dad said journals were for secrets and secrets were dangerous weapons. A little ironic thinking about it now.

Evelyn, 3:27 pm: Wow. So whoever got this for you, do they know that you've never had one?

Ginny, 3:28 pm: No. I've never told anyone that. I may have mentioned something at some point though about not writing outside of academic papers.

Evelyn, 3:28 pm: I hope you put the journal to wonderful use, G  
Evelyn, 3:28 pm: Also, your Secret Santa is definitely going over the $5 max.  
Evelyn, 3:29 pm: Also! Thank YOU for going over the $5 max. I cannot wait to kick my husband and kids out, light these candles, and take a nice, luxurious bubble bath

   
Evelyn, 4:30 pm: Are you Ginny’s Secret Santa?

Mike, 4:30 pm: It’s Secret Santa. No one's supposed to know who has whom.

Evelyn, 4:30 pm: Is that a yes?

Mike, 4:30 pm: 

Evelyn, 4:31 pm: Holy crap! You emoji-d!

   
Amelia, 8:10 pm: The college of business is having their annual holiday party tomorrow at Amici and we're able to bring a guest. Would you like to go with me?

Mike, 8:11 pm: I appreciate the invite, truly, but no. Thank you for thinking of me. I hope your Thanksgiving is great and that the last couple of weeks before the long break go by quickly.

   
Livan, 8:37 pm: Mami, tomorrow night we’re all heading out to drinks. To celebrate this semester almost being over and Cara’s momentary freedom from the Clark. Join us.

Ginny, 8:37 pm: The Comp Lit department party is tomorrow night, but if you all are still out afterward, I'll hang.

Livan, 8:37 pm: We’ll still be out.

   
November 17, 2017  
Blip, 4:15 pm: Ev made too much food. She had me sign her up for pies. She made pies plus everything else. Can you come to the car and help bring stuff in?

Mike, 4:17 pm: Yep. I'll bring Ginny, too.

   
Ginny, 8:15 pm: If you're still on campus, come over. We have so much food courtesy of Evelyn Sanders.

Cara, 8:15 pm: Ev’s the best! I'm heading that way. Was it a good party?

Ginny, 8:15 pm: It was.

Cara, 8:15 pm: What was Santa’s last gift to you?

Ginny, 8:17 pm: A gorgeous set of four prints that are hard to explain, but so beautiful. One of the printers had my favorite Nikki Giovanni poems over a black & white silhouette of a woman. One has a Neruda poem over Klimt’s The Kiss. They're indescribably perfect. You'll see when you get here.

Cara, 8:18 pm: Wow. Your Secret Santa definitely knows you well.

 

To: Ginny Baker  
From: Secret Santa

It was difficult to pick because you're so easy to admire, but I hope these prints convey in some small way how much you're appreciated.

 

November 18, 2017

Evelyn, 11:13 am: G, you were simply the best Secret Santa ever. You must have talked to Blip because I've been coveting this Instax because I want prints of my kids, damn it. You're a gem, and you spent way too much money on me. Love you.

Ginny, 11:15 am: *sighs* I guess I can tell you for sure now. How'd you guess though? And nothing is too much for you, E. You feed me regularly and wouldn't let me be lonely out here hundreds of miles from home. I owe you more than I can ever repay.

Evelyn, 11:15 am: Stop. I'm going to cry. And it wasn’t too hard to figure out, G. How was the young folks' party last night?

Ginny, 11:15 am: Ha! It was great. And it wasn't all young folks. Mike ended up in the mix and a few other professors as well. Apparently, The Edison is the place to go.

Evelyn, 11:16 am: Wait, Mike went? And why weren't Blip and I invited? And that place is fancy for the sake of being fancy.

Ginny, 11:16 am: You were invited. At least that's what Livan said, but he also said Blip turned him down.

Evelyn, 11:16 am: I'm going to have words with that man. Anyway, I'm glad you all had a good time.

Ginny, 11:16 am: We did, yes. Mike and Livan didn't get into it, they were actually begrudgingly cordial to one another. It was entertaining.

Evelyn, 11:16 am: So... that's all I'm going to get?

Ginny, 11:16 am: ??? What else is there?

Evelyn, 11:17 am: You can't do this to me! I wasn't there. Where's the detail? The nuance?

Ginny, 11:17 am: I'm afraid there's none of that because nothing else happened. We were just a group of nerds who went out for a drink so we talked about the same things we always do just at a higher decibel and slightly less coherent.

Evelyn, 11:17 am: I’m having the worst case of FOMO. Fine. I'll take your word for it. This time. But your stories need better detail in the future.

Ginny, 11:17 am: When there's something to tell, you'll be the first to know.

Evelyn, 11:18 am: Hey! By the way, did you ever figure out who your Secret Santa was?

Ginny, 11:18 am: Nope. They never said anything and the last note wasn’t signed. So, I’m really not sure.

Evelyn, 11:18 am: Hmm.

 

 

Evelyn, 1:09 pm: Okay, seriously. Were you Ginny’s Secret Santa, Mike?  
Evelyn, 1:09 pm: Because the gifts she got were amazing. Especially those prints!  
Evelyn, 1:09 pm: Just tell me…  
Evelyn, 1:10 pm: MIKE!

 

 

November 21, 2017

Mike, 2:30 pm: I hope you have a safe trip home and a wonderful Thanksgiving. I'm going to spend the day politely sidestepping Ev’s mother's attempts to meddle in my life. At least I know Ev comes by it honestly.

Ginny, 2:45 pm: Sorry! Security was a nightmare. You're going to have a lovely Thanksgiving and you enjoy the meddling. We all do. My family is complicated and terse and not all that much fun. I'm already looking forward to being back in CA and I haven't even left yet.  
Ginny, 2:45 pm: Also, Thanksgiving is a terrible holiday anyway and turkey tastes like napkins. Ev makes the best ham. I'm upset I'm missing it.

Mike, 2:45 pm: Ha! Ev makes the best everything, for sure. I’m always here if you need someone to complain to or just an excuse to chat. Try to enjoy yourself.

Ginny, 2:45 pm: Thanks Mike.

 

 

 


	13. Short Measure

November 22, 2017

Ginny, 12:18 pm: I’ve been home for less than a day and I already want to come back to California.

Evelyn, 12:18 pm: Yes, return to us now. My mom’s here and she’s taken over in my kitchen, and I'm not upset about it.

Ginny, 12:18 pm: My mom is really trying to get me to like Kevin. She says we just need to bond. That's...not even a little true.

Evelyn, 12:19 pm: I’m sorry honey. Just a couple more days and you'll be back here where you belong.

Ginny, 12:19 pm: Fingers crossed that I make it ‘til then.

 

 

November 23, 2017

Mike, 11:30 am: Happy Thanksgiving. I hope your day is going well.

Ginny, 11:30 am: It’s... not. I'm counting down the hours until I board my plane. It was such a bad idea to come back here.

Mike, 11:30 am: I’m really sorry. If you want, you can tell me about it. If not, I'm sure Evelyn would like a reprieve from her mom if you’d rather talk to her.

Ginny, 11:32 am: You sure you wouldn't mind hearing about this?

Mike, 11:32 am: Not at all.

Ginny, 11:32 am: My mom and I don't really get along. It stems from me seeing her with the man who's now her husband while my dad was still alive.  
Ginny, 11:32 am: I never told her what I saw. And I never told my dad, either. I didn't even tell my brother about it. Just Ev. And now you.  
Ginny, 11:33 am: I don't even know how to address it, or if it's worth it. But now my mom’s trying to force this relationship between us but I can't do it. And I feel guilty about it.

Mike, 11:33 am: I have a little experience with moms and disappointment. I'm really sorry you feel backed into a corner.  
Mike, 11:33 am: I don't have any savvy advice, my own relationship with my mother is a minefield, but I understand feeling out of your depth and guilty and unsure.  
Mike, 11:33 am: You’ll make it through til tomorrow and then you'll be back here with people who you don't have to pretend with.  
Mike, 11:34 am: I’m sorry I don't have a better solution

Ginny, 11:34 am: It's alright. I appreciate you letting me vent a little. It helps. I'm jealous of you at the Sanders’ right now though. Have things dissolved into anarchy over football yet?

Mike, 11:34 am: Close. Blip’s cousins are insisting on a touch game before dinner and I don't know how to get out of it.

Ginny, 11:34 am: Just claim that you're not sure if your brittle bones will survive a game. You can always use your knees as an excuse. They sound like crumpling paper sometimes.

Mike, 11:34 am: You’re excessively unfunny.

Ginny, 11:34 am: 

 

 

Blip, 11:40 am: Why are you smiling at your phone?

Mike, 11:40 am: Why are you texting me from across the room?

Blip, 11:40 am: I’m too comfortable to move. And answer the question.

Mike, 11:40 am: I’m not smiling at my phone.

Blip, 11:41 am: You absolutely were.

Mike, 11:41 am: I’m going to ignore you now.

Blip, 11:41 am: I’ll just start asking you aloud if you do. Which will eventually garner Ev’s attention. And you don’t want that do you?  
Blip, 11:42 am: I’m so serious, Mike.  
Blip, 11:45 am: Okay, so be it.

   
Evelyn, 2:21 pm: I might have gone a bit overboard with the food so you're definitely expected here Sunday. Happy Thanksgiving! How's your day going?

Ginny, 2:25 pm: I'm in my room. We already ate. Things are tense. Will has gone off to who knows where. I just want this day to be over.

Evelyn, 2:26 pm: I'm very sorry, G. I'm inviting you now to the rest of the holiday shenanigans at Chez Sanders. Try to get some rest. 

 

 

Mike, 6:48 pm: I’m hiding in the rec room at the Sanders’

Ginny, 6:48 pm: 

Mike, 6:48 pm: It’s not funny. Have you ever been the target of both Evelyn AND her mother’s brilliant, scheming minds at the same time? This is all Blip’s fault.

Ginny, 6:50 pm: Well, what did you do to deserve it?

Mike, 6:50 pm: Nothing! Way to be on my side.

Ginny, 6:50 pm: How can I know if I’m supposed to be on your side if I don’t know what you did?

Mike, 6:50 pm: Still nothing. Anyway, what are you up to?

Ginny, 6:50 pm: I’m finishing packing and heading off to bed. My flight’s at 6:50 tomorrow morning.

Mike, 6:51 pm: Damn. Forgot about the time difference. Sorry. How are you getting home from the airport?

Ginny, 6:51 pm: I’ll probably just take the shuttle back home.

Mike, 6:51 pm: Don’t do that. That thing is miserable. What time’s your flight land? I can pick you up.

Ginny, 6:52 pm: No, it’s really okay. I don’t want to inconvenience you.

Mike, 6:52 pm: It’s not an inconvenience. I promise. I offered. Those shuttles are reckless. Wouldn’t want anything to happen to you.

Ginny, 6:53 pm: You just don’t want to be stuck grading 20 final papers on your own.

Mike, 6:53 pm: Sure, let’s go with that. What’s your flight info?

Ginny, 6:54 pm: AA 138. It’s supposed to get in at 8:56 am

Mike, 6:54 pm: Okay. I’ll be there. Just call me when you land.

Ginny, 6:54 pm: Thanks, Mike. I really appreciate this. Now stop hiding and go enjoy the rest of your day.

Mike, 6:54 pm: I think I’ll hide for a little bit longer. Better safe than sorry.

 

   
Evelyn, 8:35 pm: Mike’s been acting weird all day

Ginny, 8:35 pm: It’s like I’ve been with y'all all day via text. What’s going on?

Evelyn, 8:35 pm: Wait...what?

Ginny, 8:36 pm: Mike’s been texting me today too. It made me miss you all a lot and kind of feel like I'm there too.

Evelyn, 8:36 pm: Well, that answers pretty much all the questions I have.

Ginny, 8:36 pm: ???

Evelyn, 8:36 pm: Love you, G. Safe flight tomorrow. Hey, how are you getting home from the airport? Want me to send Blip to come get you?

Ginny, 8:37 pm: No. Mike's going to pick me up. Are you really not going to tell me what you meant before? What answers? What questions? What happened today?

Evelyn, 8:37 pm: 

 


	14. Epic

November 24, 2017

Evelyn, 9:17 am: Welcome back, G! I've been tracking your flight. Is that creepy? Anywho, make Mike bring you to my house. We’ll have my momma's breakfast special.

Ginny, 9:24 am: Okay, I'm just de-boarding the plane. I've got to call Mike and see if he's got any other plans

Evelyn, 9:24 am: I'm sure he doesn't because I told him to come back here after he picked you up. I missed you. Welcome home.

Ginny, 9:49 am: I missed you, too. Mike says you threatened him if he didn't bring me over, so we’re headed your way.

Evelyn, 9:49 am: Good. See you soon. Oh, if you want coffee, make Mike stop on the way. I sent Blip out for some, but I'm not confident he’ll come back with the kind you like.

Ginny, 9:49 am: No worries. Mike brought me a coffee.

Evelyn, 9:50 am: Hmm. Isn't that nice?

 

 

Cara, 10: 47 am: You’re back and you didn't call me. Should I be hurt at this rift in our love?

Ginny, 10:47 am: Ha. No. Missed you. How was your Thanksgiving?

Cara, 10:48 am: Spent under a mountain of books and intermittently under Omar. So it was pretty good. How was yours?

Ginny, 10:48 am: I’d rather forget about it. I'm happy to be back here. I'm definitely not doing that for Christmas. Besides, I think Ev would disown me if I defected for 2 holidays. As it is, she wouldn't even let me go home first before I had to come to her house.

Cara, 10:49 am: Next year we’re doing Friendsgiving or I’m hitching my star to yours and coming to Ev’s. So you there now?

Ginny, 10:49 am: Yes. Ev’s mom made a whole southern breakfast for us. It's insane the amount of food that's currently on my plate.

Cara, 10:49 am: Jealous. Want to go catch a movie tonight? Enjoy a Clark free weekend before finals?

Ginny, 10:50 am: Absolutely. Just two more weeks to go then, we’re home free… kinda.

 

 

Ginny, 4:35 pm: Did I remember to say thank you?

Mike, 4:35 pm: You did. A couple of times, actually.

Ginny, 4:35 pm: Well, honestly. Thank you. I've never had a professor offer to pick me up from the airport before. And going to the Sanders’ is just what I needed. Is it weird I feel more at home there than at my actual home?

Mike, 4:36 pm: Not at all. Blip and Evelyn have that ability about them that I deeply envy. They just make you feel like you belong.

Ginny, 4:36 pm: Exactly. So any ways, thanks again. I'll eventually stop thanking you, but I really am grateful. You somehow seemed to know precisely what I needed today.

Mike, 4:36 pm: It was my pleasure, Ginny.

 

 

November 27, 2017

To: undisclosed-recipients;  
Cc: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Final two weeks of the semester

We’ve made it to the final two weeks of the semester. Please make sure you’re aware of the dates for your final paper. There are no more post-class discussions and if you need to see me or Professor Lawson, please adhere to our office hours.

The writing center is also an excellent resource for help with your paper.

Best of luck to you all at the end of the semester.

Regards,  
Ginny

 

  
November 27, 2017

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Final two weeks of the semester

How much do you want to wager that we both get panicky, eleventh-hour emails?

I'm really glad this semester is almost over, but this is one of the best semesters I've had in a very long time. Even with the inevitable emails to come, I wouldn't trade this time in for anything.

Thank you for making it so great.

Best,  
Mike

 

  
November 27, 2017

To: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Final two weeks of the semester

I'm not taking that bet at all, and I'm so glad I've had the opportunity to be your TA. I've learned so much, and I’m glad I could do my part to make this a successful semester for you.

-G

 

  
November 27, 2017

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Final two weeks of the semester

  
You're more than just a part of why this semester was perfect.

-M

 

  
December 2, 2017

Mike, 11:13 am: If I ask for your help with something, can you promise not to read too much into it?

Evelyn, 11:15 am: Not when you ask such a loaded question first. You really don't know how to bury the lede, do you?

Mike, 11:15 am: So... what does this mean?

Evelyn, 11:15 am: I will help you but I'm probably going to read everything into it.

Mike, 11:15 am: I want to get Ginny something to say thank you for the semester, but I don't really have any ideas. I already know what I want to give her for Christmas, but I'm kind of at a loss for something right now.   
Mike, 11:20 am: Ev?

Evelyn, 11:23 am: Sorry. I'm totally freaking out and reading into this because I am me. You gifted well for Secret Santa, why not something in that vein?

Mike, 11:23 am: I wasn't Ginny’s Secret Santa.

Evelyn, 11:23 am: Whatever helps you sleep at night Mike. What's your favorite thing that happened all semester?

Mike, 11:23 am: I have too many to name.

Evelyn, 11:24 am: I forgot what a total romantic you can be.

Mike, 11:24 am: I’m regretting asking you for help.

Evelyn, 11:24 am: No you're not. I'm already compiling an email of gift suggestions. Be on the lookout.

 

  
Blip, 2:45 pm: My wife has been on a mission for the past 3 hours. I'm afraid to ask what you've asked her help for.

Mike, 2:47 pm: Do you give a gift to your TA at the end of the semester?

Blip, 2:47 pm: Yeah, I got Sal a gift card to that Gander outdoor store because he likes to talk to me endlessly about hiking.   
Blip, 2:47 pm: I don't know if he realizes black people don't hike

Mike, 2:47 pm: I’m sure he doesn't because he doesn't strike me as the brightest where sense is involved. Anyway, I asked Ev for help with a gift idea for Ginny.

Blip, 2:48 pm: Used them all up for Secret Santa?

Mike, 2:48 pm: You and Ev are truly meant for one another.

Blip, 2:50 pm: I know you're being sarcastic, but thanks. We totally are. Also, I'm both looking forward to and dreading Ev being back on campus next semester. At least when she was at home she couldn't meddle as directly with whatever you and Ginny have going on. Please don't tell me. I don't want to know. I want to maintain plausible deniability.

Mike, 2:50 pm: Nothing is going on.

Blip, 2:50 pm: Good. Keep saying things like that to me so I can have a clear conscious.

Mike, 2:52 pm: It’s also the truth. Nothing is going on. Ginny is a friend and a great help to me as my TA. Whatever you've imagined simply isn't true. Whatever I've imagined will stay the imaginings of a 40-something professor. I'm not an idiot. Ginny's too good at everything to even consider doing anything to mess up her incredibly bright future. I'm content with the way things are right now.

Blip, 2:53 pm: Man, I think you're minutes away from writing pining poetry. I can feel it.

Mike, 2:53 pm: I do not know why we're friends.

 

  
Mike, 5:23 pm: Ev, I found the perfect gift. Thanks for offering to help.

Evelyn, 5:24 pm: I’ve been compiling this list for hours. HOURS. What are you going to get her?  
Evelyn, 5:24 pm: So help me, Mike Lawson, I will end you if you don't tell me right now.

Mike, 5:24 pm: A book of poetry. Blip gave me the idea.

Evelyn, 5:24 pm: *sighs* Fine. That's a good gift and solid for next semester, too. I'll hold onto these other ideas until the next time you ask. Who's the poetry by?

Mike, 5:25 pm: Rumi.

Evelyn, 5:25 pm: You sweet, besotted man.   
Evelyn, 5:25 pm: Make sure you bookmark your favorite poem before you give it to her.

 

 

December 7, 2017

Ginny, 11:35 am: Last class day! We made it! Want a celebratory pastry from J-Cup?

Mike, 11:35 am: I bought a box already. They're waiting for you on your desk along with a cup of coffee. I've already collected 4 papers as well. Maybe we won't have to wait the whole allotted time for students to turn them in.

Ginny, 11:36 am: Well, now you've gone and jinxed it. Oh well, see you in a few.

 

 

  
Ginny, 7:41 pm: Did you ever give your TA a gift at the end of the semester?

Evelyn, 7:41 pm: Yeah, Blip and I always do. What'd Mike get you?

Ginny, 7:41 pm: A beautiful, illustrated book of poems by Rumi. We’re not covering him next semester, but his poetry is so lovely.

Evelyn, 7:42 pm: It is. He wrote quite a lot about love, I believe.

Ginny, 7:42 pm: Yeah. Anyway, the last student didn't turn in their paper until 5 minutes before the deadline, naturally. I'm just getting home.

Evelyn, 7:43 pm: Kick up your feet and order some food, love. You made it through your first semester as a TA!

Ginny, 7:43 pm: I did! And I'm so full, Mike and I went to that taco truck on the corner and bought all the things to eat.

Evelyn, 7:43 pm: Well that's an adorable date.

Ginny, 7:43 pm: It wasn't a date. We were both hungry leaving campus and stopped for food at the same place.

Evelyn, 7:43 pm: K. Have you looked through your Rumi book yet?

Ginny, 7:44 pm: Nope, not yet. I will later tonight.

Evelyn, 7:44 pm: Make sure you start with the bookmarked page.

Ginny, 7:44 pm: Okay... how do you know there's a bookmarked page?

Evelyn, 7:45 pm: Intuition.

 

  
To: evsanders@gmail.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: Bookmarked

This is the page that was bookmarked.

 

  
To: baker_g@gmail.com  
From: evsanders@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Bookmarked

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my god. 


	15. Rhetorical Criticism

December 11, 2017

Evelyn, 10:37 am: Can I persuade you with a dessert of your choice to meet me on campus in my office? I want to get a jump start on making it a functional space again.

Ginny, 10:37 am: No persuasion necessary. I'm already on campus inputting final grades and trying to complete the book list and syllabus for next semester. Just stop by Mike’s office when you get here.

Evelyn, 10:38 am: Thanks. Is Mike there, too?

Ginny, 10:38 am: No. He said something about seeing his mom when I talked to him on the phone last night. He’ll be here later though.

Evelyn, 10:38 am: You two talk on the phone?

Ginny, 10:38 am: Occasionally. He says it's easier than texting. He can be such an old man sometimes.

Evelyn, 10:39 am: Ah. Okay. Well, I'm going to file all this info away.  I'll see you soon.

 

 

Mike, 12:52 pm: Thank God for your gossiping wife. Seriously, is there something Ev really wants that she doesn't have? How about a spa day at the Beverly Wilshire?

Blip, 12:53 pm: Uh, not that I don't think my wife is totally worth it, but what inspired this sudden desire to part with a large sum of money?

Mike, 12:53 pm: Something you're not at all interested in being in the know about. Who knew eavesdropping could be a good thing?

Blip, 12:53 pm: Damn man. You know this curiosity might kill me.

Mike: 12:54 pm: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

 

  
Evelyn, 1:37 pm: Your friend is behaving strangely. Why is he behaving so strangely?

Blip, 1:37 pm: I don't know, baby.

Evelyn, 1:37 pm: You must know. You knew I was talking about Mike without asking who I meant.

Blip, 1:38 pm: What other strange friend do I have?

Evelyn, 1:38 pm: Fair

 

 

  
December 15, 2017

To: undisclosed-recipients;  
From: oscar.arguella@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Final Grades

As a reminder, final grades need to be in the system by 11:59 pm on Monday, December 18.

Thank you all for a successful semester.

Best,  
Oscar

 

 

December 18, 2017

Cara, 3:47 pm: Two things: 1) do you think I can swindle my way into the Sanders family Christmas shenanigans with the promise of wine, and B) you’ve been busy with Dr. Hottie a lot lately. Can you take a break and grab and a late lunch/early dinner/day-drinking into evening drinking moment with me soon?

Ginny, 3:49 pm: Ev says you don't have to swindle anything, but if you bring some Pinot Noir, she’ll love you forever. And I haven't been hanging with Mike. We’ve been working. He's reading over a chunk of my thesis and giving me notes. And we’ve been working on next semester things. But I can always make time for day drinking. And you.

Cara, 3:49 pm: Cheeky. I'll see you tomorrow then. We commence day drinking at 2 pm. Ev’s totally invited, naturally. No boys! Although, it would be a-okay by me if you brought Dr. Hottie along.

Ginny, 3:50 pm: Yeah, I don't think so.

 

  
Blip, 4:15 pm: Ev won't stop asking me what I know about your sudden ebullient mood. And I don't know anything. Can you imagine how frustrating this is?

Mike, 4:15 pm: I can.

Blip, 4:15 pm: So you're really not going to say anything to me or even give me a hint?

Mike, 4:16 pm: Blip, you said you didn't want to know, so I'm going to honor your wish and not tell you.

 

 

December 19, 2017

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: UCDavisTrevor@gmail.com  
Subject: My previous email…

Didn't bounce back, so you must've gotten it.

I just want to talk, G. It's Christmas time. In the spirit of the season, at least email me back. I just want the chance to talk to you again. That's all.

I really miss you.

-Trevor

 

  
Mike, 9:47 pm: Is Ginny okay?

Evelyn, 9:47 pm: To the best of my knowledge, yes. Why?

Mike, 9:48 pm: But you're not certain? Because she just called me and she sounds a little mopey. And kind of drunk.

Evelyn, 9:48 pm: Oh my god.She called me, too. She's out with Cara. They decided to day drink. And I think Trevor is still trying to contact her. I caught his name somewhere in her ramblings.

Mike, 9:49 pm: Is it weird to want to hit a guy I’ve never met?  
Mike, 9:49 pm: It’s sort of nice to see a less than perfect side of her. Though I imagine she won't think so. I’d never hold it against her.  
Mike, 9:49 pm: Anyway as long as she's okay, I'm fine with being a random drunk dial.

Evelyn, 9:49 pm: Can't be that random if you all talk on the phone enough that you're in her frequent contacts.

Mike, 9:49 pm: Yes. We talk on the phone sometimes. But it's usually just about class or something.

Evelyn, 9:51 pm: Class has been over for almost two weeks now, but sure.

 

 

 

December 20, 2017

Evelyn, 9:08 am: Have you dried out from yesterday yet?

Ginny, 9:09 am: My head is pounding. I'm never drinking with Cara again.

Evelyn, 9:09 am: Do you remember calling me late last night? You were pretty entertaining. You're a very loud drunk. And you kept saying you wanted fries and to go to the beach. Did you end up doing either?

Ginny, 9:11 am: No to the beach. We didn't know how to put it in Uber. We did get fries though.

Evelyn, 9:11 am: I should've gone with you two. Clearly, you needed a chaperone.  
Evelyn, 9:12 am: You said something vague about Trevor. Did he call you or something?

Ginny, 9:13 am: Trevor emailed me again. Every time things are going well, he turns up like a bad penny.  
Ginny, 9:15 am: OH GOD EV! OH SHIT!  
Ginny, 9:15 am: I called Mike last night. I drunk dialed my professor. Oh fuck. What am I going to do?

Evelyn, 9:17 am: I’m not currently laughing at you.

Ginny, 9:17 am: This isn't funny! What if I said something awful or oh, god, something I can't take back. Shit Ev. I've got to call him. No, I can't do that. I'll text him. Better yet I'll email him.

Evelyn, 9:18 am: How about a handwritten letter?

Ginny, 9:18 am: You're being funny, but that might actually be a good idea. I'll write him a letter then move far away before he gets it.

Evelyn, 9:19 am: Too dramatic! Just text him. I guarantee you he's not going to be mad.

 

 

Ginny 11:25 am: I’m so sorry about calling you last night. It was so unprofessional. Cara and I were just blowing off some steam and I guess your name was just high on my call list. I can't apologize enough.

Mike, 11:25 am: No apologies necessary. It was... interesting.

Ginny, 11:25 am: I am mortified.

Mike, 11:26 am: I swear there's absolutely no reason for you to be. I’m flattered that both you and your friend think I'm an aging hottie.

Ginny, 11:26 am: Please tell me you made that up.

Mike, 11:26 am: I did not.  
Mike, 11:27 am: I promise to only bring it up once a week. Don't worry.

Ginny, 11:27 am: You’re the absolute worst.

Mike, 11:27 am: See, now we both know that's not true. 

Ginny, 11:27 am: I regret teaching you emojis. Are you sure there isn't something I should really apologize for? You would tell me, right?

Mike, 11:28 am: You have nothing to be embarrassed about. I promise.

 

 

  
December 20, 2017

To: baker_g@gmail.com  
From: showtimewillbaker@gmail.com  
Subject: Christmas

Mom says you're not coming home for Christmas. I guess I should've expected that, but I was hoping you've gotten over your aversion to home. I hope you have a good Christmas. Thanks for the watch it's perfect.

Love,  
Will

 

 

  
December 23, 2017

Ginny, 8:37 am: Are you really okay with me staying over for the next few days? I don't want you to get sick of me.

Evelyn, 8:37 am: We could never get sick of you. Plus I get to go on an actual date since you're watching the boys. They can't wait to watch In Living Color with their aunt Ginny.

Ginny, 8:38 am: I have no idea what you're talking about.

 

 

  
Blip, 3:32 pm: Hey, by the way, you don't still have to come over to watch the boys. Ginny’s staying with us through Christmas so she's going to watch them.

Mike, 3:33 pm: Oh, well I don't mind helping out still. So she's not outnumbered by pre-teens.

Blip, 3:33 pm: I guess as far as terrible excuses go, that one at least is an accurate statement. You’re something else.

 

 

 

Evelyn, 9:00 pm: The movie is going to start soon. Everything okay there?

Ginny, 9:00 pm: Everything's fine. The boys are in bed and Mike and I are just enjoying some wine while he regales me with stories of his undergrad days.

Evelyn, 9:02 pm: Okay. Well, enjoy your date night.

Ginny, 9:02 pm: Not a date night! For us. Me and Mike, I mean. There isn't an us. 


	16. Epigram

December 26, 2017

Cara, 3:45 pm: You threw the perfect Christmas. Thank you for letting me crash it. It was way better than even the thought of going home. Added bonus, the Ginny & Dr. Hottie show did not disappoint.

Evelyn, 3:46 pm: You're so welcome, darling. The wine you brought was perfect and yeah, those two are going to be the death of me. I'm pretty sure they both think that the other doesn't like them, though, after yesterday, I think Mike’s figured it out.  
Evelyn, 3:47 pm: Ginny is still in deep denial or honestly just believes what she believes. She's awfully stubborn sometimes.

Cara, 3:47 pm: She is. It's my least and most favorite quality about her. I honestly believe that Ginny knows, but if she admits it, that means it's real. And for her, it can't be real—yet.

Evelyn, 3:48 pm: I guess you're right. It's just so frustrating. I want to push their faces together and make them kiss already.

Cara, 3:49 pm: Seriously. She always brings it back to “my professor” which I get cause that's a line Ginny wouldn't cross, she's a stickler for rules and what not. But none of my professors have ever looked at me the way Mike looks at Ginny. Like she hung the freaking moon or something. None of them have ever given me jewelry for a holiday, either.  
Cara, 3:50 pm: My advising professor sent me an email yesterday full of corrections for next semester's class with a p.s. that said: “Enjoy your holiday day.”

Evelyn, 3:50 pm: Wow. What a stand up guy. I wish you could be my TA. I wouldn't relegate you to the Clark, but more importantly, you could be my spy on the inside with Ginny.

Cara, 3:50 pm: I wish I was your TA, too, but you already know everything. Would you really need a spy on the inside?

Evelyn, 3:51 pm: There’s no such thing as too much information.

 

 

 

  
December 30, 2017

Mike, 3:45 pm: Am I going to be the oldest person at this party tomorrow night?

Ginny, 3:45 pm: Uh, maybe? You're not worried, are you? You’re not even that old, old man. Also, it's pretty much all nerdy academic types coming. You’ll have plenty of people to debate with. Ev and Blip will be here, too.

Mike, 3:45 pm: Eh, they're not old like me.

Ginny, 3:46 pm: They’re not, which I don’t really understand since they have kids, but they *are* your contemporaries.

Mike, 3:46 pm: We both know you prefer me, anyway. It’s okay. You admitted it once before. You like this aging hottie.

Ginny, 3:46 pm: 

Mike, 3:47 pm: Wait...we didn't go over this emoji. What does this one mean?

 

 

 

  
December 31, 2017

Cara, 7:47 pm: Are you sure you're okay with a house party for NYE? We can still go out-out.

Ginny, 7:48 pm: C, it's waaaayyy too late to change plans now. And I'm going to be pissed if I cleaned and arranged food on trays for nothing.

Cara, 7:48 pm: Fine. Just making sure. I'm looking forward to a lower key night... With 10 of our closest friends at our place. Oh! Will Dr. Hottie be making an appearance?

Ginny, 7:50 pm: You know I invited Mike as you were standing right there when I did it. He said he'd come. Please don't call him Dr. Hottie to his face... again. He already teases me enough about that drunken confession.

Cara, 7:50 pm: I added the aging part in order to save you a bit. Whatever, it helped. Anyway, I'm in line at the liquor store. This place is a madhouse. Any last requests?

Ginny, 7:50 pm: Nope. I think everything else is covered.

Cara, 7:51 pm: Great. Be back soon.

 

 

  
January 2, 2018

Evelyn, 11:23 am: I’m too old to party with you and Cara. It's a fact. I'm still recovering. I can't believe class starts again next week. I'm not ready at all.

Ginny, 11:23 am: You’re more than ready. You're gonna kick ass. Cara and I are headed to brunch. Want to join us?

Evelyn, 11:24 am: Yes, please. I love girl time. Besides, I've got questions about that moment between you and Mike at midnight. Ooh, that’d be such a great romance novel title.

Ginny, 11:24 am: What moment?

Evelyn, 11:25 am: Coy doesn't suit you. You two looked awfully cozy with one another. And close. Like pre-kiss/post-kiss close. Blip distracted me at midnight, so I lost track of you for a moment. Then you two were pretty much attached at the hip for the rest of the evening.

Ginny, 11:25 am: I’m sorry to disappoint your brilliant, creative mind, but nothing happened. No moments. Just talk about how soon we’ve got to go back to teaching and how nice Christmas and New Years was this year.

Evelyn, 11:26 am: Whatever you say, G. Where are we eating?

Ginny, 11:26 am: Peaches. See you in a few.

 

 

 

  
January 5, 2018

To: baker_g@gmail.com  
From: janetbaker@yahoo.com  
Subject: Is everything okay?

Hi baby girl,

I'm just checking in on you. You're always so busy. Thank you for my Christmas gift. It's truly a lovely pendant. Kevin says hello. I hope your party went well for New Years.

Trevor called me. He said he's having trouble getting in touch with you and wants your number. I didn't give it to him. Wanted to talk to you about it first.

The new semester starts soon, right? I know you're going to do just great.

Love you,  
Mom

 

  
January 5, 2018

To: janetbaker@yahoo.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Is everything okay?

Please don't give Trevor any of my contact info. I'm glad you had a nice holiday and liked your gift. Thank you and Kevin both for the prints. They're really great.

Love,  
Ginny

 

 

January 7, 2018

Ginny, 11:47 am: I’m nervous about teaching tomorrow.

Mike, 11:47 am: You have no reason to be. You're going to be great. You blew me away last semester, and you had the students enthralled. Honestly. Didn't you see your student reviews? Every single one gave left glowing remarks.

Ginny, 11:48 am: They did?

Mike, 11:48 am: Absolutely. You're already an incredible teacher. You're only going to get better.  
Mike, 11:48 am: And I’m here for you. You're not going to go into this alone. If you want, you can try out your lecture on me.

Ginny, 11:48 am: You sure you wouldn't mind?

Mike, 11:49 am: Not at all. I'm free now if you'd like to come over. 1738 Symphony Dr. I’ll make us some lunch.

Ginny, 11:49 am: That'd be great. You cook?

Mike, 11:49 am: I dabble. And if push comes to shove, I can make a mean grilled cheese.

Ginny, 11:49 am: Alright. I'll head out now. See you in a few. Can I bring anything?

Mike, 11:50 am: Nope. Just yourself.

 

 

  
Evelyn, 3:12 pm: Hey, you busy? I need your eyes for a last look at my syllabus.

Ginny, 3:12 pm: Send it to me. I'll take a look.

Evelyn, 3:12 pm: You don't want to come over?

Ginny, 3:13 pm: I'm at Mike's working on last minute lesson stuff. We’ll be over in a couple hours though if you want to wait.

Evelyn, 3:13 pm: Hmm. Okay. I'll send you an email then. So... over at Mike's house, huh? Have you been there before?

Ginny, 3:13 pm: No, I've not been here before. And since I know you, I know I need to say nothing untoward is happening or romantically tinged is happening. I swear.

Evelyn, 3:15 pm: Well, that's a shame.


	17. Roman à clef

January 8, 2018

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: UCDavisTrevor@gmail.com  
Subject: Why?

Your mom said you told her not to give me any of your contact information and I don't really get why. You won, Ginny. You get to have the life you wanted and I got tossed aside and am having to start again.

I hope you have a successful semester and it's all you want it to be.

-Trevor

 

  
January 8, 2018

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
**(DRAFT)** Subject: Soneto XI

Tengo hambre de tu boca, de tu voz, de tu pelo  
y por las calles voy sin nutrirme, callado,  
no me sostiene el pan, el alba me desquicia,  
busco el sonido líquido de tus pies en el día.

Estoy hambriento de tu risa resbalada,  
de tus manos color de furioso granero,  
tengo hambre de la pálida piedra de tus uñas,  
quiero comer tu piel como una intacta almendra.

 

 

  
January 8, 2018

Ginny, 1:37 pm: Thank you for the coffee. Where did you disappear to?

Mike, 1:42 pm: You’re welcome. I got summoned to Oscar’s office. Figured you could use a pick me up before class. I'm on my way back now. Don't be nervous. You're going to do great. You don't even need me.

Ginny, 1:42 pm: Not true! I totally need you. What if one of the students ask me a question I don't know the answer to?

Mike, 1:42 pm: Make something up. That's what I do.

Ginny, 1:42 pm: You do not.

Mike, 1:43 pm: I absolutely do.

Ginny, 1:43 pm: Sometimes you’re exasperating.

Mike, 1:43 pm: I promise you, you’re going to do just fine. Better than fine, you’re going to be great. And I’m even willing to place a wager on it.

Ginny, 1:44 pm: I’m not going to take that bet because there's no clear way to measure “great.” If I don't trip and fall on my face, you'd probably consider that great.

Mike, 1:44 pm: Why are you this nervous? You were great last semester.

Ginny, 1:44 pm: Do you not remember my first class I taught? Besides, my official evaluation is this semester.

Mike, 1:44 pm: ...By me. And Oscar who also knows you're great. I'm not buying it. And everyone's first class is rough. You grew so much over the semester. You know that, right? What's really going on?

Ginny, 1:45 pm: I don't know. Ignore me. I'll be fine. And hey, I'll take that bet. The winner has to cook dinner?

Mike, 1:45 pm: I sincerely hope I win. Not just because you're going to be incredible and I don't doubt you at all, but because I'm still not over your attempt to murder me with the salad you made. I still don't understand what you did.

Ginny, 1:45 pm: You’re so dramatic.

 

 

  
January 9, 2018

  
Evelyn, 1:57 pm: I love teaching. I missed this. I love these students and my classroom and my syllabus. I love it all.

Ginny, 1:57 pm: I’m so glad your first class back was great. And I'm happy that you're back, too.

Evelyn, 1:57 pm: I’m not happy that I went to find you only to learn you're in the Clark. Why are you there? Also, why is Mike so pleased with himself?

Ginny, 1:58 pm: Cara’s professor has decided to cede his entire class to her. He's not teaching at all this semester, so I'm helping her not freak out completely and do some lesson planning. I don't know why Mike is so pleased. Because he's Mike?

Evelyn, 1:58 pm: He mentioned a bet.

Ginny, 2:00 pm: So, you do know, and you're just fishing for information?

Evelyn, 2:00 pm: I would never! Mike said ‘ask Ginny about the bet she lost’ when I asked him why he couldn't stop grinning and why he was willingly reading Wordsworth.

Ginny, 2:01 pm: He likes the Romantic Period poets. And we had a bet going and I lost, so Mike’s going to make dinner.

Evelyn, 2:01 pm: And who bet those stakes?

Ginny, 2:01 pm: I did. Mike's actually an incredible cook and Hans is my new buddy.

Evelyn, 2:02 pm: It feels like you're cheating on my food.

Ginny, 2:02 pm: I would never. But you have a family. I feel less guilty mooching off a Mike.

Evelyn, 2:02 pm: I don't think guilt is a factor here, G, but sure. Why'd you have a bet going anyway?

Ginny, 2:03 pm: Trevor emailed me yesterday morning and it just... threw me off my game. I got nervous I guess and Mike was being Mike and cheering me up.

Evelyn, 2:04 pm: What happened to you admitting how much you like Mike? I thought we were finally out of this denial phase.

Ginny, 2:05 pm: I know what I feel, Ev, but I also know how unlikely it is anything will come of it anytime soon if ever. I'm managing my expectations.

Evelyn, 2:05 pm: I know you don’t want to believe it or whatever, but I don't think you're alone in this. I mean, the man goes out of his way for you.

Ginny, 2:05 pm: I'm sure Mike has managed crushes before. If he somehow found out how I feel, I doubt he'd be acting much differently. He's a good guy, he wouldn't be cruel or anything if he didn't feel the same way.

Evelyn, 2:05 pm: Okay. I’ve gotta go pick up the boys from school. I'll talk to you later.

 

  
January 9, 2018

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
**(DRAFT)** Subject: Love Sonnet XVII

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,  
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.  
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,  
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms  
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;  
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,  
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.  
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;  
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,  
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,  
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

 

 

 

January 10, 2018

Mike, 11:32 am: Are Evelyn and Ginny fighting?

Blip, 11:32 am: No. But Evelyn mentioned being frustrated with her. They're not fighting per se.

Mike, 11:32 am: Okay. Ginny just seems to down and mentioned Ev, so I just wanted to check.

Blip, 11:33 am: Yeah I get it you're in full protector mode.

Mike, 11:33 am: I don't know what to say to that.

Blip, 11:33 am: Just say it's the truth.

Mike,11:33 am: I thought you didn't want to know.

Blip, 11:34 am: I thought I didn't want to know either. But Ev likes to chatter about Ginny and may have let some things slip.  
Blip, 11:34 am: And then there's you, practically wearing your heart on your sleeve, making dinner for her when we both know you only do that when you're serious about someone.  
Blip, 11:35 am: Not to mention the gifts and the other little things you do that get mentioned around my house regularly. I would think Ev’s dropping hints, but that's not her style.  
Blip, 11:35 am: So just say whatever you need to say, man. I'm listening. If you need to grab a drink and talk about it, we can do that too.

Mike, 11:36 am: I just need to make it to May. Now that I know I'm not in this alone, waiting is both okay and really terrible.

Blip, 11:36 am: Wait, go back. Is this about whatever you heard before Christmas?

Mike, 11:36 am: Yeah, I overheard Ev and Ginny in my office. And surprisingly, Ginny said she has “more than a crush” now. Talking about me. I still can't really believe it.  
Mike, 11:36 am: Which great, right? Except not because I can't tell her I think I'm falling in love with her right now because, well.  
Mike, 11:37 am: I almost kissed her at New Years.  
Mike, 11:37 am: And I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since.  
Mike, 11:37 am: And listening to her teach poetry all semester is maybe more than I can handle. She's already a phenomenal teacher.

Blip, 11:39 am: Okay. So you're in this way deeper than I originally thought. I thought this was just a temporary thing and I apologize. I should've known better. You've never been good at casual.  
Blip, 11:39 am: Also Ev’s annoyance makes a lot more sense. This is a frustrating impasse we’re all at.  
Blip, 11:39 am: A tip? Ginny doesn't think you like her like that. And as middle school as that sentence just felt, I hope that it helps you do whatever it is you need to do to convince her otherwise while remembering she's still your TA until May 11th.

Mike, 11:40 am: Thanks, man. I don't know what on earth to do, but I know someone who probably does.

Blip, 11:41 am: It better be Ev because she will lose it if she's not involved.

 

 

 

January 11, 2018

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
**(DRAFT)** Subject: Sonnet 43

  
I love thee to the level of every day's  
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.  
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.  
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.

 

 

 

January 12, 2018

Evelyn, 3:47 pm: I have the perfect not-date dates planned for you and Ginny.

Mike, 3:47 pm: I haven't even asked for your help yet.

Evelyn, 3:47 pm: Okay.

Mike, 3:57 pm: Evelyn, I could really use your help.

Evelyn, 3:57 pm: You bet! I'm going to call you in 5. Be prepared to take notes.

 

 

 

January 13, 2018

Mike, 10:34 am: Hans was wondering if you'd like to come to the dog park with us.

Ginny, 10:34 am: He was? Wow, he's such a smart dog.

Mike, 10:34 am: He really is. If you're not busy, we’d love it if you'd join us.

Ginny, 10:35 am: Of course! What time should I meet you there?

Mike, 10:35 am: We’ll come get you. 30 minutes good?

Ginny, 10:35 am: Sounds great. See you soon. 

 


	18. Eupehmism

  
January 16, 2018

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
**(DRAFT)** Subject: Sonnet 10

Yet, love, mere love, is beautiful indeed  
And worthy of acceptation. Fire is bright,  
Let temple burn, or flax; an equal light  
Leaps in the flame from cedar-plank or weed:  
And love is fire. And when I say at need  
I love thee . . . mark! . . . I love thee—in thy sight  
I stand transfigured, glorified aright,  
With conscience of the new rays that proceed  
Out of my face toward thine.

 

  
January 22, 2018

Cara, 4:57 pm: I am in awe of your genius. Your superior skill. Your management of every situation.

Evelyn, 4:58 pm: Thank you. To what specifically are you referring?

Cara, 4:58 pm: Sunshine Ginny and her Hot, Grumpy Mike. She's come home elated from all these non-date dates.

Evelyn, 4:59 pm: My little spy on the inside. Tell me everything.

Cara, 5:01 pm: Well she was practically walking on a cloud when she came in last night. Did you conspire with the universe to bring that Dickinson exhibit to LA?

Evelyn, 5:01 pm: That was a stellar piece of kismet. I don't understand why they both love Emily Dickinson, but there you go. The perfect place for these nerds. An exhibit dedicated to her that I just happened to mention might also be helpful for students to see, but they should probably go check it out first.

Cara, 5:02 pm: So smart. Then there have been all the doggy dates. Which is adorable. How'd you convince Mike he needs to have a cookout at his house?

Evelyn, 5:02 pm: I just mentioned it'd been so long since he did anything at his house and how everyone used to look forward to his mid-semester gatherings, then Ginny asked about them and all of sudden, Mike’s planning a party.

Cara, 5:02 pm: You’re a devious genius. You should run the State Department.

 

  
January 28, 2018

Ginny, 2:30 pm: I’m making a pie to bring over. You like strawberry rhubarb, right?

Evelyn, 2:30 pm: Uh, yeah. I love all pie, but you don't need to make anything, G. Please.

Ginny, 2:30 pm: Offended. I'm getting better! Besides, I’m making this under Mike’s watchful eye. Did you know rhubarb is poisonous?

Evelyn, 2:31 pm: Oh god.  
Evelyn, 2:31 pm: Why the sudden need to make something? You know you don't have to.

Ginny, 2:32 pm: Mike’s really the one making the pie while we talk about how to give students extra credit for going to the Dickinson exhibit. I’m just supposed to claim I made it for whatever reason. He's also helping me determine how to better teach this unit on free verse. It's really tripping me up.

Evelyn, 2:32 pm: I don't know why that's so cute. Okay.  
Evelyn, 2:32 pm: I hated my poetry unit with a passion, so I'll be no help. I don't believe that you're not good at this. You're good at everything.

Ginny, 2:33 pm: Mike said the same thing.

Evelyn, 2:33 pm: I bet he did!

 

  
February 1, 2018

  
Mike, 10: 35 am: I’m at J. Cup. It’s Thursday, do you want your usual or something else?

Ginny, 10:35 am: I don’t have a usual order.

Mike, 10:35 am: An almond mocha with no whip

Ginny, 10:36 am: Okay. I get that a lot, but not always.

Mike, 10:36 am: Whatever you say. So, do you want that or something else?

Ginny, 10:36 am: Well now I feel like I have to get something else. So you can get me whatever you want with almond milk as long as it’s not really sweet. Not that sugary mess you consider coffee.

Mike, 10:36 am: You’re awfully picky for someone getting free coffee.

Ginny, 10:36 am: You asked.

Mike, 10:36 am: Fine. How do you feel about a honey cinnamon latte with half the usual amount of honey?

Ginny, 10:37 am: Sounds delightful. Thanks. 

 

  
Blip, 4:57 pm: You might want to be a little more circumspect about the way you talk about Ginny to other people.

Mike, 4:57 pm: What do you mean?

Blip, 4:57 pm: You spent all your time at the college-wide faculty meeting talking about Ginny.

Mike, 4:58 pm: No I didn't.

Blip, 4:58 pm: Literally every last second of your time. And I wasn't the only one who noticed, man. Just be careful. I know you know what could happen if you're not.

Mike, 4:58 pm: I am being careful. Thanks for looking out. I didn't realize I did that.

Blip, 4:59 pm: Did you honestly miss my wife manically swaying in her chair? I thought she was going to lift off or fall in a dead faint on the floor. Stop doing stuff to make her swoon, man. I can barely keep up.

Mike, 4:59 pm: Half of this is your wife's fault. She's brilliant, ya know?

Blip, 4:59 pm: Oh I know. I absolutely know what a lucky son of a bitch I am.

 

 

February 4, 2018

Mike, 2:10 pm: I’m not sure this Valentine's thing is going to work.

Evelyn, 2:10 pm: Have I steered you in the wrong direction so far?

Mike, 2:11 pm: No, but yesterday Ginny spent half an hour railing against Valentine's Day before class. It was a whole thing. Haven't seen her that worked up since I had to listen to her rail against cilantro.

Evelyn, 2:11 pm: Listen, my plan is infallible. It involves food and alone time all under the guise of grading papers together. Seriously, it's foolproof.  
Evelyn, 2:11 pm: Also it's precious you're worrying about this 10 days in advance. You're adorable, like the sibling I've always wanted to have to meddle with.

Mike, 2:11 pm: So happy I can oblige. For that, I'm bringing Hans over today and letting the boys run him around outside.

Evelyn, 2:12 pm: Ugh.

 

  
February 7, 2018

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: michael.lawson@humnet.ucla.edu  
**(DRAFT)** Subject: Sonnet 43

All days are nights 'til I see thee,  
And nights bright days when dreams do show me thee

 

  
February 8, 2018

Livan, 11:27 am: You free for lunch?

Ginny, 11:28 am: Yeah! I feel like I haven't seen you in forever.

Livan, 11:28 am: It's only been a couple of weeks, but I feel that way, too. And when I've seen you, you've been followed by a grumpy shadow. Don't bring your shadow to lunch, btw.

Ginny, 11:28 am: Mike's not my shadow. And we've been working. Anyway, I won't bring him.

Livan, 11:29 am: Good. Besides, you don't want those rumors gaining traction.

Ginny, 11:29 am: What rumors? What are you talking about?

Livan, 11:29 am: Oh, uh. I better tell you about them over lunch.

Ginny, 11:30 am: No, tell me now.

Livan, 11:30 am: Honestly it's a conversation we should have in person. I'm sorry I brought it up. I'll meet you at Schnipper’s in 15?

Ginny, 11:30 am: Fine.

 

  
Cara, 1:47 pm: Ginny is full on freaking out.

Evelyn, 1:47 pm: Why? What's going on?

Cara, 1:49 pm: She and Livan had lunch and he told her that people have been talking about her and Mike. This is all second hand, but what I pieced together through her pacing is that some people are wagging their tongues to talk about Ginny’s situation from her Master's program with Trevor and that she must be getting some sort of preferential treatment from Mike cause he's her biggest fan.  
Cara, 1:49 pm: But the most frustrating thing is that she thinks it's her fault that people are talking. She thinks she's being too obvious.

Evelyn, 1:50 pm: Yeah, no, especially when Mike is basically a one man band title ‘Ginny Baker is the best thing in the world.’

Cara, 1:50 pm: Precisely. And I don't know what to day to fix this. She doesn't want to cause problems, but Ginny also likes to run when things get tough, so idk what to do.

Evelyn, 1:51 pm: Do you know exactly who Livan overheard?

Cara, 1:51 pm: Not sure. Ginny got more vague with her answers until finally, she said nothing. But I'm thinking it might be other Humanities professors.

Evelyn, 1:51 pm: Okay. Good. Thank you for the info, Cara. And don’t worry, I’ve got this.

 


	19. Figurative Language

February 9, 2018

Evelyn, 6:45 pm: How goes everything? Everything okay?

Ginny, 6:45 pm: You and Blip literally left 5 minutes ago. What could’ve happened? Relax. Everything is fine and under control. The boys are out playing with Hans. Mike’s fixing dinner, and I'm making sure everyone keeps all their appendages intact. We're good.

Evelyn, 6:45 pm: Okay. I just worry. Blip and I haven't had a weekend away in a long while. I don't think we've gone away just the two of us without the boys since they were very little.

Ginny, 6:46 pm: We’re all okay. And will remain that way. Enjoy your weekend. Mike and I have this covered. I promise.

Evelyn, 6:46 pm: Okay. And you're sure you're doing okay? Remember what I told you. Small minds wag their tongues, and you've done nothing wrong. And they'll be handled accordingly. Also, I hope you're coming to understand that it's not *you* making people talk.

Ginny, 6:46 pm: I’m fine. I'm concerned about my academic reputation taking a hit, and Mike’s too, but I'm also determined to talk to Mike about this over the weekend.

Evelyn, 6:46 pm: What do you mean?

Ginny, 6:47 pm: I mean I think we should talk about the rumors and not pretend they don't exist. I think it's for the best. Even if it ends up being incredibly awkward between us.  
Ginny: 6:48 pm: I think I should just fess up and tell Mike about this stupid crush and that I won't let it get in the way of anything else.  
Ginny, 6:48 pm: I mean... don't you think I should say something to him at this point?

Evelyn, 6:48 pm: Omg why am I not there for this? You have to call later and tell me everything. I can't believe you're going to tell Mike and !!!!!!!!

Ginny, 6:49 pm: It'll just be like any other conversation, but excessively mortifying for me. I'll be fine. You won't have to talk me down. And enjoy your vacation already. I'll see you when you get back.   
Ginny, 6:49 pm: I’ll only call or text if there's an emergency. Tales of how I make an ass of myself can wait until you get back Sunday night.

Evelyn, 6:49 pm: Ginny Baker, you have GOT to tell me what happens after you talk to Mike, you hear me?   
Evelyn, 6:50 pm: I'M NOT KIDDING

 

  
Evelyn, 8:30 pm: G, you don't even have to really type words. Just emoji me with what happened.

 

 

Evelyn, 10:03 pm: Ginny. Come on! Tell me...your good friend and confidant Ev!  
Evelyn, 10:03 pm: Tell me.

 

 

February 10, 2017

Evelyn, 11:35 am: Have you heard from Ginny?

Cara, 11:35 am: No. Isn't she at your house for the weekend? Do you need me to go check on her?

Evelyn, 11:35 am: No, no. I'm not worried about anything at home. G and Mike are more than capable of looking after my kids and my home. I just need to know how their talk went and if they've already had it.

Cara, 11:36 am: Talk?

Evelyn, 11:36 am: Ginny was going to come clean about her feelings for Mike, and I’m hoping Mike didn't fuck it up and play coy.   
Evelyn, 11:36 am: He’s pretty far gone though. So I don't think he’d be anything but honest with her. But I need to be sure.

Cara, 11:36 am: Wow. That's... wow! Okay. So yeah let me see if she tells me anything and I'll report back.

Evelyn, 11:36 am: Okay!

 

 

Cara, 12:15 pm: How goes it at House Sanders? Incident free so far?

Ginny, 12:20 pm: Everything is great. Been a quiet weekend so far.

Cara, 12:20 pm: That's nice. How's your doctor hottie?

Ginny, 12:20 pm: Mike's fine.

Cara, 12:21 pm: …..????? That's it? That's all you’ve got?

Ginny, 12:21 pm: What else would there be? We’re enjoying the day. Nothing really more to know.

Cara, 12:21 pm: Okay. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. I'll see you Sunday night.

 

  
Cara, 12:22 pm: Something totally happened.

Evelyn, 12:22 pm: DON'T KEEP ME IN SUSPENSE

Cara 12:22 pm: That's the thing--I don't actually know what happened. But Ginny is being evasive.   
Cara, 12:22 pm: And short. She's never short. Honestly, she texts dissertation length sometimes.   
Cara, 12:23 pm: She's giving me nothing. At all. She says everything is fine. Which leads me to conclude something totally happened.

Evelyn, 12:23 pm: Damn it. I know she won't text me back if I text her anything less than an SOS. Do you think it's a bad something or a good something?

Cara, 12:24 pm: Impossible to say. I’ve got my fingers crossed that it's the best something that happened and Ginny just doesn't want to share.

Evelyn, 12:24 pm: Ugh. This is pure torture.

 

  
February 11, 2018

Mike, 9:27 pm: We’re okay, right?

Ginny, 9:27 pm: Of course. Why wouldn't we be?

Mike, 9:27 pm: Just double-checking.

Ginny, 9:27 pm: More like triple-checking.

Mike, 9:28 pm: I would hate for you to regret… anything or feel awkward… Nothing has to happen or is going to like we discussed, but I'm just... checking.

Ginny, 9:28 pm: Are you feeling awkward?

Mike, 9:28 pm: I feel about as far from awkward as you can get. I feel great.

Ginny, 9:28 pm: So you don't regret kissing me?

Mike, 9:28 pm: No. Do you regret kissing me back?

Ginny, 9:29 pm: No. Not at all.

Mike, 9:29 pm: Good. Great. So I’ll see you first thing tomorrow.

Ginny, 9:30 pm: Yeah. I'll see you.   
Ginny, 9:30 pm: Oh, and you may want to delete those emails from your work drafts  
Ginny, 9:30 pm: If you need a place to send them tho, I have another email

Mike, 9:30 pm: So noted.

 

  
Evelyn, 10:02 pm: GINNY BAKER YOU WILL NOT EVADE ME FOREVER I WILL FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED. DID I HEAR YOU GIGGLE AS YOU LEFT WITH MIKE EARLIER??

 

February 12, 2018

Ginny, 9:47 am: We didn't think this through, Mike.

Mike, 9:47 am: What? I mean… I thought you didn't regret this?

Ginny, 9:48 am: Crap. I didn't mean it like that. Sorry. I just meant we didn't really think this through well because once Evelyn gets to campus today there's no way she's not going to figure this out. I avoided her texts all weekend, but I have no poker face and she's gonna know. She's just going to know.   
Ginny, 9:48 am: And we’re not saying anything to anyone because nothing's going to happen. Nothing can happen before May.

Mike, 9:49 am: Damn it. You're right. I'm in line at J-Cup, then I’m headed to my office. And we’ll figure something out, okay?

Ginny, 9:49 am: Okay. Thank you in advance for the mocha.

Mike, 9:49 am: Wow. I'm really a foregone conclusion, huh?

Ginny, 9:49 am: 

 


	20. Epithet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay. The president is a madman, the country is on fire, and I'm trying not to drown. I hope you enjoy this chapter. x

February 12, 2018

Evelyn, 10:33 am: I'm sad, G.

Ginny, 10:33 am: Why? What's wrong? Do I need to hurt someone?

Evelyn, 10:33 am: I’m sad that my best friend has been avoiding me for the past three days.

Ginny, 10:33 am: I saw you Sunday.

Evelyn, 10:34 am: And scampered away as quickly as you could while looking excessively flushed and starry-eyed. And you've been avoiding me this morning, too. You usually can't wait to get in here with your cup of coffee from Mike and chat. So, you might as well tell me what's going on or I'm going to come up with a lot of wild ideas.  
Evelyn, 10:34 am: And don't say nothing, Ginny Baker. I know you well enough to know it's something.

Ginny, 10:35 am: I can’t. I won't/can't lie to you, but the less you know, the better. Because I'm afraid of these rumors, and I know you said not to worry, but after everything with Trevor, I can't take risks.

Evelyn, 10:35 am: Nope. You're coming over tonight and you're going to tell me all about it. I’ll kick Blip and the boys out and you will confess all to me. I'm serious, G.  
Evelyn, 10:36 am: Besides, I heard your Valentine's Day plans have changed.

Ginny, 10:36 am: Wait… how?

Evelyn, 10:36 am: Mike and Blip gossip like two old ladies. Not to worry though, Blip doesn't want details so you don't have to worry about him blabbing.  
Evelyn, 10:36 am: And he gets none of the salacious details. I want all of them. Please, G???

Ginny, 10:36 am: Fine. I'll see you tonight. You're so bossy.

Evelyn, 10:36 am: I love you.

 

 

Blip, 6:47 pm: I just got kicked out of my house with my kids so Evelyn and Ginny can talk. I blame you.

Mike, 6:48 pm: I'm sorry. I can bring Hans and meet you at the park.

Blip, 6:48 pm: Okay. It's the least you can do since my wife and I have turned into your relationship sponsors.

Mike, 6:48 pm: As if you'd ever say no to Evelyn. And we're not going to talk about this. There's nothing to know. You are Switzerland.

Blip, 6:48 pm: Wrong analogy, but sure. 

 

 

February 15, 2018

Evelyn, 3:45 pm: I liked our group date. We should do more of them.

Ginny, 3:45 pm: 

Evelyn, 3:45 pm: I’m serious! Also, I have more questions.

Ginny, 3:46 pm: Of course you do. Okay, fire at will.

Evelyn, 3:46 pm: Great. I don't feel like you adequately described the kiss. I need more detail, more nuance. Harness all your word skills and give me more. I need descriptors, G.

Ginny, 3:46 pm: Listen, I'm not you, Ev. You're a pro at words and I'll never be able to look Blip in the eye again, thanks for that. You know he asked me about that last night. Why I couldn't look at him. Did I lie convincingly?

Evelyn, 3:48 pm: No. You never do. And stop trying to change the topic. You kissed Mike at my house, on my couch and I need to know more. And since you were cagey in person even with the help of liquor, I figured this would be easier.  
Evelyn, 3:48 pm: Help me. I'm starved for details outside of my marriage and as my quasi-single friend, it's your job to provide me with tales of the unwed.  
Evelyn, 3:49 pm: Tell me how it all went down with too much detail. I want to feel like I was there.

Ginny, 3:49 pm: What is wrong with you?

Evelyn, 3:50 pm: Tick tock.

Ginny, 3:50 pm: I don't know what more I can tell you. How do you describe the best kiss you've ever had?  
Ginny, 3:50 pm: It’s more than just the fact that Mike kissed me. It's the fact that I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop reliving it and we can't do it again for another 3 months. I don't know how I'm supposed to go without now that I know what it feels like.  
Ginny, 3:51 pm: Christ, Mike’s got a perfect mouth. And he didn't rush a moment of it. And I've never felt more special. The way he held my face... like I was the most precious thing in the world.  
Ginny, 3:51 pm: I ache thinking about how he sounded, how his lips felt, how perfect it all was. And I'm annoyed I know all this and have to wait for more.  
Ginny, 3:52 pm: Is that good enough for you?

Evelyn, 3:52 pm: Ugh. No. I want more Gin. Work on your descriptor words, because I want explicit details after you and Mike have sex for the first time.

Ginny, 3:52 pm: God seriously, what is wrong with you?

 

  
February 23, 2018

To: baker_g@gmail.com  
From: mikelawson@gmail.com  
Subject: Is this weird?

G,

We see each other all the time now and tacitly avoid talking about... well, everything, but I didn't want you to think I'm not thinking about it. I think about kissing you all the time. You're so smart and kind and funny, and beautiful. I can't believe you're really interested in me, but I'm not going to say more and press my luck.

And we're around so many other people now and can't say much, so, maybe this is the way around that?

Don't know, but either way, I'm glad I got to be near you today.

-M

 

  
February 23, 2018

To: mikelawson@gmail.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Is this weird?

M,

I wish you were a little terrible.

Seriously.

You're grumpy and taciturn from time to time, but you're deeply good. And kind. And smart. And very attractive.

I wish you were less so because it'd make it easier to wait to be with you. Whenever you get to be this way or send me the perfect poem, it is it makes me ache for more.

It's not May yet.

-G

 

  
February 23, 2018

To: baker_g@gmail.com  
From: mikelawson@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Is this weird?

I can tell you the things about you that annoy me. Would that help?

Your off-key humming is pretty bad. But I've now memorized every song you hum and anytime I hear one, I immediately think of you.

Your nose crinkles right before you go off on one of your feminista rants.

You constantly interrupt me. You're even starting to do it via text.

You've got this horsey laugh that I can't get enough of.

Every inch of my office reminds me of you. That's less of an annoyance and more of a feeling of awe and disbelief. There isn't a place in my whole life that doesn't make me think of you.

And it's wonderful.

 

  
February 23, 2018

To: mikelawson@gmail.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Is this weird?

You're just a big, sentimental marshmallow.

What else? Are you counting the days?

 

 

  
February 23, 2018

To: baker_g@gmail.com  
From: mikelawson@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Is this weird?

77.

Are you not?

 


	21. Subtext

March 1, 2018

Mike, 2:03 pm: How'd you tell Evelyn you loved her the first time?

Blip, 2:03 pm: That's an atrocious sentence. You alright, buddy?

Mike, 2:03 pm: Can you go back to being you after you answer my question, please?

Blip, 2:03 pm: Sure. I planned something grand, but it turned out to be a disaster and I blurted it out at her during a disagreement. She's never let me live it down either.   
Blip, 2:04 pm: Do I want to know why you're asking? Also, you were married. How'd you tell Rachel that first time?

Mike, 2:04 pm: I said it after she said it. And it wasn't really all that memorable tbh

Blip, 2:04 pm: Wow.

Mike, 2:04 pm: Yeah, I know. Rachel and I really had a lot of issues from the start. And I thought it was right. I know better now.

Blip, 2:05 pm: Do you?

Mike, 2:05 pm: Yes. Honestly. I do. I've never experienced anything like this before.

Blip, 2:05 pm: Please, please make it to May 11 before you two do anything.   
Blip, 2:05 pm: Or if you can't, don't tell me. And don't tell Evelyn. Because she'll tell me. And I don't want to know.   
Blip, 2:06 pm: Plausible deniability.

 

 

 

  
March 3, 2017

Evelyn, 2:24 pm: If anything happens between you and Mike while we’re away, I expect an immediate text after said thing happens.

Ginny, 2:27 pm: I'm not planning on seeing Mike this week. Spring break, remember?

Evelyn, 2:27 pm: G—this is me you're talking to. I know you better than that. You're both going to say you shouldn't see one another, but you’ll eventually give in and hang out.   
Evelyn, 2:27 pm: Since you both want to avoid rumors, it'll be at his place or yours...But probably his cause it's roommate free plus Hans.   
Evelyn, 2:27 pm: I'm just asking you to keep me abreast of the situation.   
Evelyn, 2:28 pm: Get it?

Ginny, 2:28 pm: Honestly, so much is wrong with you.

 

 

 

  
March 5, 2018

Mike, 11:25 am: I can't genuinely spend a week away from you. That's too long.   
Mike, 11:25 am: And yes, I saw you yesterday, but I've seen you almost every day since the beginning of the school year and a week is far too long to be away. Do you want to come over and watch a movie?  
Mike, 11:26 am: Totally platonic. We’ll sit on opposite ends of the couch and order Thai.

Ginny, 11:26 am: Have you been talking to Evelyn?

Mike, 11:26 am: No?

Ginny, 11:26 am: Okay. Probably not a good idea to be alone together.

Mike, 11:26 am: I swear I'll behave.

Ginny, 11:27 am: It’s not you I'm worried about. It's me. And my desire to kiss you pretty much every time I see you.

Mike, 11:27 am: Are you trying to kill me? Why would you put that idea in my head?

Ginny, 11:27 am: Do you not feel the same way?

Mike, 11:28 am: Of course I do. All the time. I'm literally that Neruda poem every time I see you. “I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair…”  
Mike, 11:28 am: Anyway, you can even invite Cara if you want. Or any of your other friends. Not Livan though.   
Mike, 11:28 am: I just really want to see you. And since you're not going out of town, knowing you're here and not far away but not around me is too much to handle. Please?

Ginny, 11:29 am: Okay.

Mike, 11:30 am: Okay. Just 67 days.

 

 

Ginny, 1:02 pm: I honestly don't know why I'm texting you except I might be crazy, but just wanted to let you know that I'm heading over to Mike's house.

Evelyn: 1:02 pm: !!!!!!!  
Evelyn, 1:02 pm: I knew you two wouldn't make it until May.   
Evelyn, 1:02 pm: Remember, explicit details.

Ginny, 1:04 pm: Nothing is going to happen.

Evelyn, 1:04 pm: K. But when it inevitably does, just remember I'm here to talk about it and not judge.

Ginny, 1:04 pm: So noted.

 

 

 

  
March 6, 2018

Mike, 9:37 am: We made it through yesterday. Want to try it again today?

Ginny, 9:39 am: Don't you want to enjoy some of your break alone? You’re going to get sick of me.

Mike, 9:39 am: Not possible. Come over. I’ll make breakfast and we pretend like you never left.

Ginny, 9:40 am: That shouldn't be charming. And yet, it really is.

 

 

 

Evelyn, 11:35 am: Status report from last night?

Ginny, 11:35 am: We absolutely behaved.

Evelyn, 11:35 am: If you could see my face right now.

Ginny, 11:35 am: It’s the truth. I'm over at Mike's, and we’re continuing to behave.

Evelyn, 11:36 am: Still over at Mike's or over at Mike's again?

Ginny, 11:36 am: Again. I did not spend the night here. We're about to leave and take Hans to the dog park though. And act like we randomly bumped into each other in case we happen to see anyone we know.

Evelyn, 11:36 am: I get why you're being cautious, I do, I just think that it's unnecessary. Mike's not going to abuse his power, and he's definitely not Trevor. You can trust him. And you can always trust me, too.

Ginny, 11:37 am: I know. I just really want to do this right. I don't want to take any chances. I like Mike a lot… More than like.

Evelyn, 11:37 am: I know honey. I tease you, but I do know otherwise I would not encourage this at all.   
Evelyn, 11:37 am: I love you both. I want you both to be so happy.

Ginny, 11:37 am: Love you, too, Ev.

Evelyn, 11:38 am: Now, have fun. And the moment you have too much fun, I expect to know all about it.

Ginny, 11:38 am: I promise. 


	22. Hubris

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay!! Please enjoy this chapter. x

March 9, 2018

 

Evelyn, 1:45 pm: We’re on our way home! Remind me to never go away with Blip's entire extended family ever again.  
Evelyn, 1:45 pm: Since I didn't hear from you, I assume you and Mike kept your hands to yourselves?

Ginny, 1:46 pm: …..Mostly.

Evelyn, 1:46 pm: ehsgkjaihfjakk!!!!!!!  
Evelyn, 1:46 pm: Out with it now, Ginny Baker.

Ginny, 1:46 pm: It was really just a... light makeout session. Minimal groping and penetration.

Evelyn, 1:47 pm: And how many times has it happened?

Ginny, 1:47 pm: A handful. You know, twice. Maybe a couple times a day since Tuesday.

Evelyn, 1:47 pm: Ginny!

Ginny, 1:47 pm: I know. I know. We’re definitely tempting fate here. We’re not going to see each other until Monday morning.

Evelyn, 1:48 pm: So you’ll fill the gap with phone sex?

Ginny, 1:48 pm: 

 

 

 

March 10, 2018

 

Mike, 10:00 am: Hey.

Ginny, 10:00 am: I told you you couldn't make it until noon. Hey.

Mike, 10:00 am: I am a weak, weak man. You know this about me.

Ginny, 10:01 am: That's patently false.

Mike, 10:01 am: Not when it comes to you. What are you up to today?

Ginny, 10:01 am: Right now, nothing but missing you. Cara and I are going to have brunch with Ev later. So that'll be fun.

Mike, 10:02 am: I miss you, too. I can't believe how much.  
Mike, 10:02 am: Can you come over later?

Ginny, 10:02 am: Not a good idea. But I apparently have no sense where you're concerned, so sure, but it'll be late.

Mike, 10:02 am: That's okay. That's perfect. Then you can just spend the rest of the night in my arms.

Ginny, 10:02 am: You're certainly laying it on thick.

Mike, 10:03 am: (is this the lecherous emoji?)

Ginny, 10:03 am: You're incorrigible.

Mike, 10:03 am: Maybe. But, it's really just because I can't get enough of you. And I still want more. All the time. Everyday. Every minute of every day. Especially because now I know how you taste. And how you shudder on my arms and feel around my fingers. I can't get enough.

Ginny, 10:04 am: Maybe I'll skip out on brunch.

 

 

 

 

March 12, 2018

 

Evelyn, 2:52 pm: If you skipped out on brunch and family dinner to get some, I won't be upset... As long as you're sharing details.

Ginny, 2:52 pm: We are weak, weak people?

Evelyn, 2:52 pm: Oh, oh, oh. How many Os? How good is he? Because I like to think that Mike knows what he's doing.

Ginny, 2:54 pm: Why do you think that? (You're not wrong, btw. I'm just curious.)

Evelyn, 2:54 pm: Everything about Mike screams confidence, but not in a way that needs to be proven? Does that make sense? Like, he's so sure about who he is, I imagine that's got to translate to the other areas of his life.

Ginny, 2:55 pm: It does.

Evelyn, 2:55 pm: OUT WITH IT WOMAN. Right now.

Ginny, 2:55 pm: How about boozy brunch instead?

Evelyn: 2:56 pm: Ugh, fine. These details had better be extraordinary.

 

 

 

  
March 17, 2018

 

Ginny, 4:56 pm: You really don't have office fantasies?

Mike, 4:56 pm: You're not going to let this conversation go are you? Where are you anyway? Still coming over later?

Ginny, 4:56 pm: Yes. I'm getting a late lunch and drinks with Ev and Cara to make up for the last time. They're in the bathroom so I'm texting under a time limit.

Mike, 4:57 pm: Okay. And no, I don't have office fantasies about you because a) they're dangerous, b) the risk isn't worth it, c) you know I like to take my time, and d) I respect your perfect, pear-shaped ass too much to prop it on a desk that hasn't been cleaned since I don't know when. Now my desk at home is another matter entirely…

Ginny, 4:57 pm: Who says romance is dead?

 

 

 

March 18, 2018

 

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: oscar.arguella@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Your evaluation period

Ms. Baker,

Just wanted to let you know your evaluation period will be taking place tomorrow through Friday of this week.

Dr. Lawson has asked to not be a part of your evaluation because he claims to have an extra favorable bias towards you. The request isn't rare from professors, and it will not affect your overall standing. Everyone has been impressed with your work and dedication.

Can't wait to see the progress you've made since the beginning of the year.

Sincerely,  
Oscar

 

 

  
March 19, 2018

 

Mike, 8:03 am: So I think I fucked up.

Blip, 8:03 am: Imagine my surprise.

Mike, 8:03 am: I'm serious.

Blip, 8:04 am: So am I. What'd you do?

Mike, 8:04 am: I recused myself from Ginny’s departmental eval

Blip, 8:04 am: Okay, but she agreed initially to having you do that?

Mike, 8:05 am: No.

Blip, 8:05 am: No? What do you mean no? How’d she find out about your recusal if not from you?

Mike, 8:05 am: Oscar emailed her yesterday. And, okay, now I understand what I fucked up.

Blip, 8:05 am: You didn't realize this... before now? That asking Ginny about something that involves her and not just making a decision on her behalf wasn't a good thing?

Mike, 8:06 am: When you put it that way, no, it doesn't sound like a good thing. But I didn't want her to believe my opinion would override anyone else's. Because of the thing you don't want to know about.

Blip, 8:06 am: Your entire life and business is something my wife is obsessed with. I totally blame you for how much I know. But, I don't know how you thought this would be a good idea.

Mike, 8:06 am: I thought it'd be easier! I thought I was protecting her...Or just ya know, making it less complicated.

Blip, 8:07 am: She's pretty pissed at you, huh?

Mike, 8:07 am: Yeah. I can fix it now, I think.

Blip, 8:07 am: I hope the fixing it involves talking to her, not at her. Making decisions together like two grown-ups in a secret relationship.

Mike, 8:07 am: I know you're mocking me, but yes. It involves all those things


	23. Faulty Parallelism

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for your love and support. this chapter is rough... don't lose hope! x

March 19, 2018

Mike, 7:55 pm: Can we talk? I really want to apologize in person.

Ginny, 8:02 pm: I don't want to talk to you right now.

Mike, 8:02 pm: Then when?

 

 

March 20, 2018

To: baker_g@gmail.com  
From: mike.lawson@gmail.com  
Subject: I'm sorry

To you I belong, however time may   
wear me away. From you to you   
I go commanded.

 

 

March 21, 2018

To: baker_g@gmail.com  
From: mike.lawson@gmail.com  
Subject: Evaluation

Ginny,

I realize that this week is your evaluation and that asking you to reply or expecting one when you have a lot going isn't fair, but I just want to let you know that I'm here whenever you're ready, and I am truly sorry. For taking away your choice, for assuming, for making you doubt yourself.

I think the world of you. I actually think more than that, but it shouldn't be said in an email first.

Here's my professional evaluation I would've given:

Ginny Baker is an exemplary teacher. Beyond being knowledgeable, she's approachable, something I, myself, lack in spades.

Ginny always takes the time to work through issues students may have with assignments. She's found new and exciting ways to present old information to an audience that lives on both ends of the spectrum of caring about this information.

I would recommend Ginny Baker for any future assistantship and struggle with the idea that the year is drawing to a close as she's been an invaluable asset to me in the classroom these past nine months.

Sincerely,

Michael Lawson, Ph.D, Comparative Literature, UCLA

 

  
March 22, 2018

Mike, 4:50 pm: I miss you.

Ginny, 4:51 pm: I miss you, too.

Mike, 4:51 pm: Can you come over tomorrow night? Please?

Ginny, 4:51 pm: Okay.

 

 

March 23, 2018

Evelyn, 4:45 pm: Everything is set at your house. I'm a genius if I do say so myself.

Mike, 4:45 pm: You are a genius and helping me out. You're the best, Ev.

Evelyn, 4:45 pm: You’re damn right. You're the little brother I always wanted, Mike. Don't screw this up, and make sure to tell Ginny to call me/text me/send a carrier pigeon to let me know everything’s okay.

Mike, 4:46 pm: I promise I will. Love you, Ev.

Evelyn, 4:46 pm: Love you, too Mike

 

 

March 24, 2018

Ginny, 11:35 am: I’m so lucky you're my friend.

Evelyn, 11:35 am: Oh honey, we’re lucky to have one another.  
Evelyn, 11:35 am: I take it you've worked things out with Mike?  
Evelyn, 11:36 am: More importantly—did you two finally have all the sex? Please say yes.

Ginny, 11:36 am: You are truly a perv, you know that? Don't you want to know how dinner went or about Mike's apology? The handwritten letters he's penned over the last week?

Evelyn, 11:36 am: No. Answer the question.

Ginny, 11:37 am: *sigh* Yes. And it was perfect. Like seriously perfect. Mike has a lot of... assets and he knows just how to use them.

Evelyn, 11:38 am: OMG OMG OMG OMG   
Evelyn, 11:38 am: And how, uh, substantial are his... assets? Details, Ginny. Use your words.

Ginny, 11:39 am: His assets are... lengthy. Well above average and weighty.   
Ginny, 11:42 am: Ugh, I'm too tired for belabored language, Mike has a very big dick. Not an exaggeration—length, girth, heft—he’s just big. And it's not unwieldy. He knows exactly how to use everything he's got. But that's not even the best part. He's just... everything about him in bed is exactly what I thought but also so very much more.  
Ginny, 11:47 am: Ev?

Evelyn, 11:47 am: I'm fine. Just freaking out and trying to carefully parse information to Blip who's run away from me. Literally, he ran out of the room.   
Evelyn, 11:47 am: G, I couldn't be happier for the two of you. And now that you've definitely not made it to May, what are you two going to do?

Ginny, 11:49 am: I don't know. I mean, we had a very long, exhausting talk about lines and the future.   
Ginny, 11:49 am: If I get offered the ability to teach again next year, I'm going to take it, but make sure it doesn't have me reporting to Mike. There's no way we can wait any longer than May.

Evelyn, 11:50 am: You couldn't even make it to May, so that's probably for the best. You could be my TA! Lord knows that'll make things easier for both of us.

Ginny, 11:50 am: Both of us?

Evelyn, 11:50 am: Think how much time we’ll save by not texting one another and you just telling me outright about yours and Mike's sexcapades.

Ginny, 11:51 am:   
Ginny, 11:51 am: Mike's back with lunch, so I've got to go  
Ginny, 11:51 am: Love you, Ev. Thanks for everything

Evelyn, 11:52 am: Love you, too. Commit more sexy adjectives to memory! I'll quiz you on Monday. x

 

 

March 30, 2018

To: undisclosed-recipients;  
From: uclacomplit@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: End of year Dean’s dinner

Dear Professors & Teaching Assistants,

To thank you for a fantastic academic year, the Dean will be holding an informal dinner for the entire College of Humanities on April 15. Spouses and significant others are welcome.

Please RSVP by April 8.

Many thanks,

Dana  
Executive Assistant to Oscar Arguella, Department Chair for Comparative Literature

 

 

April 2, 2018

Mike, 3:47 pm: I can't believe none of the students tried to pull an April Fool's joke this year.

Ginny, 3:47 pm: Do they usually try to with you? That's brave. You're kind of terrifying.

Mike, 3:47 pm: I’m not terrifying.

Ginny, 3:47 pm: Okay

Mike, 3:49 pm: I’m super hurt, babe. I'm a teddy bear. You know this.

Ginny, 3:49 pm: Babe? That's new... don't know how I feel about that. Also, you're surly and taciturn at best. At worst, you have made grown men cry.

Mike, 3:49 pm: Dumpling, I don't think I have.

Ginny, 3:50 pm: Unequivocal veto. Though now I want dumplings for dinner. And you made that one kid cry last week.

Mike, 3:50 pm: He deserved it. Honey, want to go to Dim Sum Bar tonight?

Ginny, 3:51 pm: Yes to dim sum. Honey is a maybe.

Mike, 3:51 pm: Okay, sugar plum.

Ginny, 3:51 pm: 

 

April 8, 2018

Evelyn, 2:34 pm: I don't feel like cooking today. Got any for requests?

Ginny, 2:36 pm: Mike and I will bring dinner! Don't worry!

Evelyn, 2:37 pm: Are you sure? I can make Blip go get something.

Ginny, 2:37 pm: I’m sure. It's the very least we can do. How's Thai sound?

Evelyn, 2:37 pm: Perfect! Thanks, G!

 

  
April 13, 2018

Mike, 7:45 pm: I can't believe you said it first. And that you're not staying over tonight.

Ginny, 7:46 pm: I promised Cara roomie time. You can't actually be upset that I said I love you first.

Mike, 7:46 pm: A little.

Ginny, 7:46 pm: Why?

Mike, 7:47 pm: Because I've loved you for longer than you’ve loved me. I should've said it first.

Ginny, 7:47 pm: How on earth do you figure that?? You know what, never mind. We love each other. This isn't a competition.

Mike, 7:48 pm: Okay.

Ginny, 7:48 pm: I love you.   
Ginny, 7:52 pm: Cara’s planning on crashing with Omar tonight...So, I’ll see you later. And we can put this competition to bed. 

Mike, 7:52 pm: I love you so much.

 

  
April 16, 2018

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: UCDavisTrevor@gmail.com  
Subject: Photo of you and Lawson

G—

You're a bit of a cliché, you know. Sleeping with your advising professor.

You're probably curious how I know this, and you shouldn't be. We both know how small the world of academia is. I really hope it's worth your entire career. Who's going to take you seriously now?

I know a lot more than you think.

Attach: April152018.jpg

 

  
April 16, 2018

Mike, 10:09 pm: I'm not going to let him do anything to hurt you or your career. I swear on this life, Ginny. Please believe that. I told you I love you. I mean that.   
Mike, 10:15 pm: Please don't let this make you run from us.

 

  
April 17, 2018

Evelyn, 10:30 am: The photo isn't even that damning.

Ginny, 10:34 am: it is.

Evelyn, 10:34 am: it isn't. It's a hug as you're leaving a work event.

Ginny, 10:35 am: Ev

Evelyn, 10:35 am: G, I'm as serious as a heart attack. It's not intimate, not to someone who doesn't know. Trevor knows nothing. He's assuming. Don't let him rattle you.   
Evelyn, 10:35 am: It's two ppl sharing an innocuous hug cropped from the background of something else.   
Evelyn, 10:36 am: We’re going to handle this once and for all. Don't worry.

 


	24. Deus Ex Machina

April 23, 2018

To: undisclosed-recipients;  
From: oscar.arguella@humnet.ucla.edu  
Subject: Congratulations on an exemplary school year!

Dearest Teaching Assistants:

I cannot thank you enough for this incredible school year. We’ve received campus-wide praise, and praise from the Dean as well for your incredible work and commitment to the vision of the College of Humanities.

Please stop by the office to pick up a little token of my esteem. I’ve appreciated all you've done this year.

I'm also opening my house on the last day of term for a department party. Please feel free to come through with spouses and significant others.

Sincerely,  
Oscar

 

April 23, 2018

Mike, 9:04 am: How is she?

Evelyn, 9:05 am: Not great. How are you?

Mike, 9:05 am: Same. I'm frustrated and angry, but most of all I'm pissed. Pissed at Trevor and pissed at myself

Evelyn, 9:06 am: Why are you pissed at yourself?

Mike, 9:06 am: I should’ve waited. Until the end of the semester. A month and a half and we would've been okay. And now my stupid shit has put someone I deeply care about, someone I love, at risk

Evelyn, 9:06 am: Pretty sure you two came to this decision together unless there's something you're not saying…

Mike, 9:07 am: Yes, we decided together. I would never take away Ginny’s choice in anything ever. Not even a little bit

Evelyn, 9:07 am: Then why are you doing it now? This isn't all your fault, Mike. And it's not on you and Ginny. Should you have waited? Probably. But you didn't encourage Trevor to become obsessed with Ginny.  
Evelyn, 9:08 am: I know you two are keeping things separate for right now, but don't try to bulldoze over Ginny’s part and shoulder all the blame. If you're going to be a couple and a team, act like it

 

April 24, 2018

Mike, 3:53 pm: I see you every day, and I miss you

 

April 25, 2017

To: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
From: UCDavisTrevor@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Photo of you and Lawson

Are you really not going to answer me back, G?

It would be so easy to email the Dean.

 

April 26, 2018

Blip, 7:45 pm: Ev and I are concerned about you. I don't know that I've ever seen you this down, and you've been divorced and cheated on

Mike, 7:47 pm: You really know how to make someone feel better

Blip, 7:47 pm: Want to borrow my kids? They're very good at making you focus on other things.

Mike, 7:48 pm: I’m going to tell Evelyn you're trying to pawn your kids off on me.  
Mike, 7:48 pm: I’m fine.  
Mike, 7:50 pm: I'm actually not fine and I don't know what to do about it. Ginny won't let me get involved and that's her right, but I need to do something. But I don't know what  
Mike, 7:51 pm: Maybe I should resign

Blip, 7:52 pm: Come over. That's ridiculous and you know it  
Blip, 7:52 pm: The boys request that you bring Hans

 

April 28, 2018

Ginny, 4:56 pm: You can't resign, Mike. That's not the solution

Mike, 4:56 pm: If it gets you back in my life, it just might be

Ginny, 4:56 pm: I'm not out of your life. I'm here.

Mike, 4:57 pm: It doesn't feel like it

Ginny, 4:57 pm: I’m sorry. I miss you. I don't want to drag you into this mess with Trevor

Mike, 4:58 pm: I don't want you to have to do this alone. I love you. I said that and I mean that. Let me help you.

Ginny, 4:58 pm: How?

Mike, 4:58 pm: I don't know. But aren't two heads better than one?  
Mike, 4:59 pm: I can’t lose you, Ginny. Let's figure this out together.

  
April 29, 2018

Evelyn, 11:03 am: Can you come over? A friend of mine found out that Trevor’s been kicked out of UCD.

Ginny, 11:03 am: Yes, I can come over. How'd you find that out?

Evelyn, 11:04 am: I'm me. Also in addition to the academic dishonesty charge, again, he apparently had a nasty argument with one of his professors to the tune of campus security coming and breaking them apart.  
Evelyn, 11:05 am: Also, he's culpable in an academic dishonesty ring back at UNC when he was student teaching, but also as an undergrad  
Evelyn, 11:05 am: It’s been well-documented in his files, and he's been given too many opportunities to get it right in my book. So, I can guarantee he won't try anything with you with all of this information that will hinder any further career anywhere in academia

Ginny, 11:06 am: You're a terrifying wealth of knowledge

Evelyn, 11:06 am: And I'm forever on your side

 

April 29, 2018

To: UCDavisTrevor@gmail.com  
From: ginny.baker@ucla.edu  
Subject: Re: Photo of you and Lawson

  
Do whatever you want, Trevor. You always have.

I'm not afraid of you, only annoyed. If you go to the Dean, I'll make sure you're infamous throughout all of academia—not just higher education.

And I promise you, this isn't an idle threat.

 

  
May 1, 2018

Cara, 11:50 am: I've been given something to give to you. Where can I find you this time of day?

Ginny, 11:50 am: Ev’s office. Who gave you something to give to me?

Cara, 11:51 am: Dr. Hottie, of course. Who else? I saw him at the writing center. He asked about you. He's extra scruffy and a little bleary-eyed, but still supremely hot. Did you two have a falling out?

Ginny, 11:51 am: Not really

Cara, 11:51 am: Okay, well, I'll see you in a few minutes to deliver what I'm sure is a love letter

 

May 1, 2018

G—

The time will come  
when, with elation  
you will greet yourself arriving  
at your own door, in your own mirror  
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.  
You will love again the stranger who was your self.  
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart  
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored  
for another, who knows you by heart.  
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,  
peel your own image from the mirror.  
Sit. Feast on your life.

  
I love you,  
M

 

May 3, 2018

Mike, 10:06 pm: Can I call you?

Ginny, 10:07 pm: I’m watching a movie with Cara, so not right now, but later, yes. After 11:30? I know that's past your bedtime.

Mike, 10:07 pm: Don't be mean. 8 more days of waiting to be with you again and missing you terribly has made me a little maudlin. Enough that I'll gladly forgo sleep just to hear your voice.

Ginny, 10:08 pm: How poetic. And it's 10 days, not 8

Mike, 10:08 pm: What?

Ginny, 10:08 pm: We’re waiting until after final grades are posted to be safe. I haven't heard from Trevor again, but I'm not going to risk that my threat of Ev’s information is enough to keep him from contacting Oscar.

Mike, 10:09 pm: I hate this

Ginny, 10:09 pm: I do, too

Mike, 10:09 pm: I miss you

Ginny, 10:09 pm: Right back atcha, old man

Mike, 10:10 pm: As an aside, remind me never to cross Ev

Ginny, 10:10 pm: Do you really need reminding? I don't know how her information is so thorough, detailed, and deadly, but I'm grateful she's on our side

Mike, 10:11 pm: Like an avenging angel or a goddess of war

Ginny, 10:11 pm: Definitely a goddess of war. Cara is starting to grumble at me for not paying attention, so...pick this up later?

Mike, 10:12 pm: I look forward to it, love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one more chapter to go! Thanks for joining me on this journey!
> 
> Mike's poem is _Love After Love_ by Derek Walcott


	25. Denouement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so very sorry for the delay. Here's the final chapter of Blank Verse. I hope you all enjoy it. It was such a pleasure to write. Happy Holidays and Happy (almost) New Year! x Jen
> 
>  
> 
> p.s. I swear I will get to replying to reviews sometime this millennia. I am the worst.

May 11, 2018

To: baker_g@gmail.com   
From: mike.lawson@gmail.com  
Subject: Two Days

The alcove of your arm  
has become my favorite room  
for sleep

Two days feels forever away. I love you.

x, Mike

 

 

May 11, 2018

To: mike.lawson@gmail.com  
From: baker_g@gmail.com  
Subject: Re: Two Days

  
I recognize the musk of your dark hair.  
It always thrills me, though I can't describe it.  
My finger on your thigh does not touch skin—  
it touches _your_ skin warming to my touch.  
You are a language I have learned by heart.

I love you. Two days is an eternity.

x, G

 

 

  
May 12, 2018

Ginny, 6:00 pm: I’m coming over at midnight.

Mike, 6:00 pm: I assumed.

Ginny, 6:01 pm: Oh, did you? You know what happens when you assume?

Mike, 6:01 pm: In this case, it looks like my assumption proved to be true, so this maybe isn’t the best example for showing what happens when you assume.

Ginny, 6:01 pm: You’re such an ass. I can’t believe I love you.

Mike, 6:01 pm: I may be an ass, but I’m an ass who’s totally in love with you. And completely yours.  
Mike, 6:02 pm: And also if I do nothing but hold you for the next 24 hours, I’ll be the happiest man alive.

Ginny, 6:02 pm: A charming ass, at that. How am I supposed to resist? And that’s very sweet, but I totally want sex. Lots of it. Just so we’re clear.

Mike, 6:02 pm: Duly noted. Sex is a go.

 

 

 

  
May 13, 2018

Evelyn, 11:05 am: Sweet, sweet freedom! I know I only worked one semester this year, but I’m tired. Let’s go do brunch. Bring Cara.

 

 

  
Evelyn, 1: 37 pm: Is your roomie okay?

Cara, 1:37 pm: I was just about to text you and ask you that. She sent me a text late last night that said she wouldn’t be around today. I’m assuming you know where she is?

Evelyn, 1:39 pm: Well I’ve got a good idea where she could possibly be now. Ha.

 

 

 

Evelyn 4:47 pm: Remember to hydrate and the two of you need to eat. Actual food. Ibuprofen can really help with any aches or redness. When you surface from your love haze, let me know because I have SO. MANY. QUESTIONS.

 

 

 

Evelyn, 8:09 pm: Okay seriously. Just want to make sure you’re both still alive and well. Just text me back anything so I know you haven’t killed one another with sex.

Ginny, 8:09 pm: Hey, it’s Mike. We’re fine. Ginny’s sleeping. I ordered takeout. We’ve had plenty of water.

Evelyn, 8:10 pm: Good. Tell your girlfriend to call me when she emerges from slumber prior to your next sexcapades.

Ginny, 8:10 pm: Really, Evelyn?

Evelyn, 8:10 pm: I call it like I see it.

 

 

 

 

May 14, 2018

Ginny, 10:40 am: Hi there

Evelyn, 10:40 am: Well hello. Tired? Sore? Had your back blown out real good?

Ginny, 10:41 am: I really cannot with you. I’m fine. No, way better than fine. I’m great actually. And yes, before you ask, I’ll go to lunch and share as many salacious details as I can before I turn the color of a beet. I don’t know why you want to know so much.

Evelyn, 10:42 am: Because I’m nosy, but mostly because I care. And because I missed out on having girlfriends to gab with who I genuinely give a damn about.

 

 

 

May 14, 2018

Mike, 2:04 pm: So, did you ask Evelyn to move in with you before you got engaged or did she ask? I can’t remember.

Blip, 2:05 pm: You do remember. Like Evelyn’s ever waited for me to take the lead on the big stuff. She casually mentioned it once and the next thing I knew we were picking up that U-Haul.  
Blip, 2:06 pm: Are you already thinking about moving in with Ginny?  
Blip, 2:06 pm: Don’t you think that’s a little fast?

Mike, 2:07 pm: No and yes. No to asking and yes to fast, just in case you needed more clarification.  
Mike, 2:07 pm: However, when it does feel right, I’m absolutely going to ask. I have no doubt Ginny’s it for me.

Blip, 2:08 pm: I know I might not have always seemed like it, but I am very happy for you. Especially after everything...I’m very happy you let yourself find someone good for you again.

Mike, 2:09 pm: Thanks man. Start planning your best man speech now. I know how you are with revisions.

Blip, 2:09 pm: Wow! You’re really planning ahead!

 

 

 

  
May 17, 2018

Mike, 4:38 pm: I’m at the grocery store picking up stuff for dinner. Do you need anything?

Ginny, 4:38 pm: Grape soda.

Mike, 4:39 pm: I bought some the other day. It’s in the pantry.

Ginny, 4:41 pm: There are 5 cases of soda in your pantry, Mike.

Mike, 4:41 pm: Yeah

Ginny, 4:42 pm: You bought 5 cases of grape soda.

Mike, 4:42 pm: Yeah

Ginny, 4:42 pm: For me?

Mike, 4:43 pm: It’s sure as hell not for me, babe.

Ginny, 4:43 pm: I can’t believe how much I love you.

Mike, 4:43 pm: Because I bought you grape soda? I mean, I love when you tell me how much you love me, but...grape soda?

Ginny, 4:45 pm: I know how much you hate it. And you didn’t just buy one, you bought a lot. Because you love me and you want me here. Even when I drink “disgusting, tooth-rotting, purple-dyed sugar.” You totally love me.

Mike, 4:45 pm: Yeah, I really do. So fucking much.

Ginny, 4:46 pm: Right back atcha, old man. Hurry back to your place and I'll show you how much. 

Mike, 4:48 pm: I love you. And I'm never letting you go. I'll be home soon.

Ginny, 4:48 pm: I'll be here waiting. x

  
_FIN_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mike's final poem:  
> American Dream  
> BY EMILY JUNGMIN YOON
> 
>  
> 
> Ginny's final poem:  
> Marriage of Many Years  
> BY DANA GIOIA


End file.
